The change
by KCornish13
Summary: This is when changes happen for Lily Evans. It's when her life as we know it starts to form, and how it forms.
1. From Western Woods to Beaversdam

"Lily! Lily! Wake up! Lily you've got to get up or else we'll miss the exam."

"I'm up, I'm up," I said groggily.

"Lily you've got half an hour before the exam starts, you better get up now, and quickly, you've still got to have breakfast!"

This really did wake me up.

"What!"

"Like I said, you've got half an hour."

"But Mary, you know we have to wait outside for at least fifteen minutes while they clear breakfast away!"

"Exactly! You need to get up. I'm going down now; I'll leave you to get dressed. DON'T GO BACK TO SLEEP!"

Great, my exam was in half an hour and I was still lay in bed. Severus would be worried, Mary certainly was. I couldn't believe that I'd slept this long. I know I was up until midnight studying but ... thank god Mary had woke me up.

I got out of bed and started looking for my robes.

After I was dressed, I turned to the mirror; my hair was still in the plait I had put it in yesterday. I undid the plait and ran a brush through it until it was softly curling down my back. I was too late to do anything interesting with my hair so I left it.

I wished I looked like Mary, or somebody similar to her, with a fair complexion instead of deadly pale, blue eyes instead of almond shaped, emerald green, and dark brown wavy hair instead of auburn ringlets. Hair that looked good cut short or long, features that were beautiful in every light. Eyes which had a glint to them, like Professor Dumbledore's he always had a twinkle in his eyes. I wished I had all of that. But I didn't. Lost in thought I didn't realise where I was walking, until I walked into Remus.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry Remus."

"It's quite okay Lily. I can see that you're lost in your thoughts. Are you ready for the exam?"

Oh god! The exam, I had completely forgotten, I had been so caught up in my appearance that I had forgotten the exam. How shallow I was. I started going though all of my revision in my head.

"I think so, I'm just running very late, and I'm nervous."

"We all are Lily don't worry about it too much. They wouldn't have started without you."

I smiled. I liked Remus, he was kind, a prefect and loved to read. He and I were always sharing books. Out of all of his friends I liked Remus Lupin the most. He was a lot better than Peter Pettigrew, who basically was only in that group because he worshiped the others, Remus's intelligence, Sirius's good looks, James ... I don't know what he might see in James, there isn't really a good trait in him, apart from the fact he hates dark magic.

To be honest I hated the lot of them, they were cruel, arrogant and annoying. Only Remus wasn't that bad, I had a feeling that he just wanted to be accepted, I know Sev's theory on how Remus is secretly a werewolf, and he does disappear every month at the full moon ... I'm not sure myself but it seems to add up.

"Hey Remus, you ready to kill this paper?" James hadn't noticed me. Yet.

"Oh hey Evans. Do you reckon you'll pass? I do, I reckon I'll ace this paper."

"The only thing you can pass is the test for bigheaded people who think they're better than everyone else." Severus had come up behind me.

"Nobody asked you Snivellus." James retorted

"Come on Lily; let's leave these idiots alone, they only are there because James fancies you." Severus said easily audible to everybody in the vicinity.

"So what if I do Snivellus?" James shot at Severus.

He started to answer back but I cut across him.

"It's alright Sev, he'll never get me, I don't like arrogant toe rags." And I took his arm and pulled him away.

"Fifth years, line up please."

"Oh god, i've got to go to the front, I'm sixth in the whole year group, it sucks."

"It's better than me, I'm almost last." Sev whispered back.

"Good luck" I told him and walked to the front of the queue.

I only got half way when there was a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, and there stood Severus.

"What?"

He didn't say anything but he pulled me into a hug. This wasn't a new thing; it was just something we generally did when we were alone together. Which was admittedly most of the time.

Severus Snape was my best friend in the whole world, and it was him who told me I was a Witch. He told be all about Hogwarts. We knew everything about each other. It didn't matter that he was a Slytherin and I a Gryffindor, houses meant nothing to us or to me anyway. I didn't see why we couldn't be friends.

Other people had a problem with this. They just couldn't accept the fact that a Gryffindor and a Slytherin were friends. The two founders hated each other. Apparently.

The only thing that bugged me about Sev was that his friends were all very keen about the dark arts. And he seemed to know a lot about them too. I didn't ask about that side of him though. I didn't want to know.

"I'd get off of her if I were you." James commented.

"It's none of you business, he can hug me if he want to."

"Can I?" James quickly asked.

"No!"

"Well, if you're hugging dirt like this then your standards must be low. Just so you know you could do a lot better than Snivellus here."

"Who I hug is none of you business."

He was about to reply when professor McGonagall found us and chivvied me off to my place in the line.

I found my seat in the Great Hall. It was on the second row so I wasn't on the front which made me happy. I hated being the centre of attention.

"My god! That exam was so long. I was finished so early as well." Mary babbled.

"I know so was I. It was so easy I could have done it in my sleep." I replied not really that interested. Hanging out with girls annoyed me most of the time. They were far too dramatic about everything. It's why I liked Severus; he was quiet and thoughtful most of the time. He was somebody you could sit and talk to about anything, and he'd listen and then give you his true opinion. Not some story or lie, and honest opinion, no matter how harsh it was.

"You nearly did do it in your sleep."

I laughed along with the other girls around me and Mary. All of them shared our dormitory so I knew them all quite well. We wondered down to the lake to relax in the sunshine before lunch and our practical exam.

They were all sat gossiping about the exam and saying what they found easy and hard. I however stared out over the lake. The sun reflected off it and was making it twinkle, it was mesmerising. I zoned out completely lost in the winking water until...

"OH MY GOD!"

"What? What's ... oh my ..."

"What"

"What"

I looked in the direction they were all staring at. I was horrified by what I saw. Severus was hanging upside down his mouth streaming with soap and a huge crowd around him. And at the centre of that crowd stood none other than James Potter and Sirius Black.

I stood up and marched towards them. I shoved my way through the crowd.

"Leave him ALONE!"

James and Sirius both looked around for the source of the shouting. When James saw it was me, his hand immediately jumped to his hair, just to make sure it was messy. It was a habit he'd picked up recently, it was annoying to me. But every other girl seemed to love it.

"All right, Evans? James said to me, in that tone of voice which indicated that he was trying to be more mature and pleasant than he actually was. I knew that voice well. He used it every time he spoke to me.

"Leave him alone. What's he done to you?" I said staring at him with hatred. I hated when he cursed Severus. He was my best friend after all.

"Well ... It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean ..." the crowd laughed. Everyone except Remus who was reading a book.

"You think you're funny," I told him "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toe rag, Potter. Leave him alone."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans. Go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

"I wouldn't go out with you, if it was a choice between you and the Giant Squid."

"Bad luck Prongs." Sirius said, "Oi!"

Severus had broken free of the curse grabbed his wand and shot a spell straight at James. Blood squirted from his cheek. James whirled around and shot a curse back. Less than a second later Severus was upside-down in the air, his robes falling down revealing his skinny, pale legs and a pair of grey underpants.

I was half tempted to smile just at the sheer fact that Sev couldn't harm anybody at the moment in his anger, but then I remembered that he was being bullied and his actions were self defence.

"Let him down!" I told James.

"Certainly." James said in a voice which I immediately distrusted. But he let him down never the less. Severus started to get up when he was hit with a body bind curse.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" I shouted as I drew my own wand now.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said James

"Take the curse off then!"

He sighed theatrically and muttered the counter curse.

"There you go. You're lucky Evans was here Snivellus –"

"I don't need help from filthy Mudbloods like her!"

I widened my eyes and blinked in shock. He couldn't have just said that. Severus ... the boy who had been my best friend since I was nine years old. He'd never call me a Mudblood. It just wasn't something he'd do. Hate rocketed through me.

"Fine, I won't' bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you Snivellus."

"Apologise to Evans!" James roared at him, pointing his wand menacingly.

"I don't want to make him apologise." I turned on James as I said this. "You're as bad as he is."

"What! I'd never call you a – you know what!"

No I knew he'd never call me Mudblood. But he was close to the same level.

"Messing up your hair, because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off a broomstick, showing off with that stupid annoying snitch, walking down the corridor hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK." And I turned and ran before the tears spilled over my eyes. I heard James call after me but I didn't look back.

I made it as far as the lake before I started crying. I ran around to the other side of the lake to where a little hut lay. It was like the turret of a castle, a tall circular building completely surrounded by trees. I ran inside and up the spiral staircase until I was at the top of it where there was a small circular room. Overhead this room the roof of the building had been enchanted to be see-through like a piece of glass. It showed what was happening above me in the sky. The magic was clever though because when it was cold, the glass never froze over or was obscured by anything. The view through it was always crystal clear.

Today the sky was clear blue. Cloudless. Boring.

I was crying freely now. Nobody really knew about this place so nobody could bother me. I felt lost. My best friend had insulted me. Called me the worst thing in wizard terminology. How could he. How could I forgive him? I know he didn't mean to say it. He's never said it before. But if he said it under pressure then he was obviously thinking it all the time. And that was the worst part.

"Lily?"

"Go away."

"Lily ... I know how you feel."

"No. You don't."

"You feel like you're completely alone, you've been abandoned by everyone you love, and it's not even your fault."

I looked up and saw Remus Lupin stood at the top of the stairs.

"How, do you know?" I asked him curiously

"Because i've felt similarly, except that I was alone until I got to Hogwarts."

"Why Remus?"

"Because ..." he took a deep breath, "I'm a werewolf. My father had offended a werewolf called Fenrir Greyback, and in return he bit me. My Mother and Father found out what had happened, and were furious, but there was nothing to be done. There is no cure for a werewolf bite. They never were quite the same to me. It was only when I got into Hogwarts that I got real friends. I didn't tell them at first. Professor Dumbledore made me swear not to tell anybody, but James, Sirius and Peter worked it out. And they help me as much as they can."

"I guessed you were ... What do they do to help you, they can't be there when you transform surely, they'll get hurt!"

Remus laughed "Lily, they don't get hurt, because they're not human. They are animagi. They learnt what I was and learned how to become an animagus. I was shocked that they cared enough to do that for me."

"I guess they can be nice if they want to."

"Lily ... James is the way he is because he's trying to show off to you hoping it'll impress you."

"But it doesn't. All he does is make me hate him more! That stunt with Sever..." I couldn't go on.

"I'm so sorry about that Lily."

"But ... You didn't do anything."

"Exactly ... I just let it happen. I didn't see that it was hurting you."

"Remus, I don't blame you."

"Well you should!" He said bitterly.

"Well I don't!" I said angrily. "Can we just leave it?"

"If you want to."

There was silence until...

"Lunch is almost over, and we've got the Defence Against the Dark Arts practical exam to do."

"Oh my god, I had forgotten about that!"

"Well shall we walk back then?"

"We really should shouldn't we?"

"Not if you don't want to."

"Remus, this is our OWL! We've got to. I thought that you of all people would have known that. Now stop worrying about me and let's go!" I said smiling. It was so sweet that he'd want to miss an important exam just because I needed company. But I wouldn't let him, so I grabbed his hand and pulled him down the stairs.

"Moony ... Moony?"

"I think you're wanted." I told Remus.

"So, at the moment I'm revising for my exam." Said Remus not looking up from the book he was reading.

"Hey ... Moony. Quit bugging Evans, and get over here." James shouted.

I looked at him.

"Honestly Lily, just ignore them, they'll go away eventually."

I nodded and got out my wand and started practising. We were all in a chamber off the hall. They had made us wait in here while they called us in one by one. It was making me so nervous especially since the people who'd done the exam already weren't allowed back in here. So far the only one of the gryffindor's who had gone through was Sirius Black had been though because he was second in the whole year group. I would be soon. I was fairly confident about the spells I was doing; it was just the exam conditions which put pressure on the whole situation.

"Lily ... we need to talk."

Oh God Severus had come up, and wanted to talk. What was I meant to say to him?

"Evans, Lily!" Called Professor McGonagall.

I stood up quickly. Thank god she'd come now, and not later. I really didn't want to talk to Sev at the moment. I was too angry and confused.

I turned to go into the exam hall, but I found my way blocked by an arm.

"Lily..." he said.

I didn't look up. I was too scared to have this conversation.

"Excuse me," I said still not looking up.

The arm didn't move.

"I believe she told you to move." A new voice came in.

"Well I'm not going to until we talk." Severus replied coldly.

"Well unfortunately for you, she has an exam to do, so I'd move."

Severus snapped a retort back at James. James replied with pushing him. They started to fight in the middle of a room full of students waiting to do their exam, like it wasn't tense enough in the room.

"OH MY GOD! JUST STOP IT!" I screamed at them, and marched out into the great hall.

I walked over to the examiner. An old man with grey hair.

"Well then my dear ... let's start with ..."

He went through all of the standard spells. Which I managed to perform fairly easily. I just had to let my mind go blank. Forget all that had happened today. That was the hardest part, because I was so angry. Severus had betrayed me in front of half the school; James was acting like a complete prick about it all as well, despite the fact that it was all his fault.

But the anger could wait. I had to pass these exams, and I'd never do it as angry as I was, so I let go of it all. I let my mind go blank and let go of my emotions. It was one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do.

"Now then my dear, I know I said that was you're last spell, but I want to see if you can perform a patronus charm."

"We haven't studied it in class though," I told him, although we both knew that I could do it. I had been practising it since the start of the year. Sev introduced it to me. He asked me what form mine took, only at the time I didn't know, so he taught me the spell and how to do it. I've been practising ever since, only ... i've never been able to make a true form, i've only ever had a mist shield.

"My dear, I think you can do it. Do you know how to do the spell?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Well then my dear, have a go at it. Take your time, no need to rush."

I took a deep breath, what was my happiest memory? I thought about it, and I couldn't think of a powerful one. I normally used the day I came to Hogwarts. I was so happy that day, but it was also the day I met James Potter. Maybe that's why it never formed properly. Who knows? I'd have to think about something else.

Another memory came into my mind. I was nine, and sat on a swing with Tuney. We were swinging higher and higher, well ... I was anyway. Tuney was telling me not to, not to swing so high. She was worried about me. I swung up, and at the point just before I started to fall I leapt upwards though the air. Quite literally flying, in an arc. I landed on the ground, as lightly as if I jumped on the spot. It had been magical. I remember that emotion more clearly, soaring through the air, defying gravity.

"Expecto Patronum," I whispered. I felt my wand erupt with the spell. It was stronger than it had ever been. I knew if I looked I'd seen an animal there. But I couldn't look, I didn't want to. I didn't want to return to the world.

Inside the memory, I was carefree, happy, nothing else mattered. In the real world, everything I had ever known was falling apart. I wanted that memory to last forever.

I heard applause. It sounded like everybody in the Great Hall was clapping. The examiner was saying "Well done dear," quietly to me. I still didn't open my eyes.

It was only as I felt something soft, soft like it was barely there, nudge my hand. I opened my eyes, and saw the doe pawing the ground. She was beautiful, graceful, soft, caring. She was mine.

"Well my dear, you can go." My examiner told me. I let the doe disappear, and walked out of the great hall.

I saw Sirius Black stood waiting for James to come out. He studied me curiously. He looked like he was about to ask something and then thought better of it. I then remember what had happened earlier, with James and Sev. I walked straight up the stairs. I was walking along the corridor to the Fat Lady when I remembered that the common room would, fill with fifth years all fresh from their exams, and they would have a party. I really wasn't in the mood for a party, so I ducked into one of the red curtained alcoves, and sat and stared out of the window there.

I don't know how long I was sat there for. It was long enough for all the fifth years to walk past. Long enough for the rain to start pouring, long enough for thunder to rumble across the sky chasing after the lightening. A tear was rolling down my cheek.

I heard the voices of everybody going to dinner. I wasn't hungry, and I didn't want to reveal my position, so I sat and waited for them all to pass. When I thought that everybody had gone, I peaked around the curtain. The common room would be empty, so I could slip upstairs to my dormitory, and go to bed. No-one would be back for ages. I checked that the coast was clear just once more before I ran, but it wasn't clear. A boy was stood outside the portrait of the Fat Lady. I quickly hid back behind the curtain, and tried to be as still as possible.

"Mr Snape, shouldn't you be at dinner?"

"Yes, Professor McGonagall, only ... I-err-I-err-I- I was waiting for Lily Evans, she hasn't come out of the common room as far as I've noticed and I wanted to make sure she'd eaten something." Sev said quickly.

"Well I'm sure Miss Evans is already in the great hall, you just missed her." Said Professor McGonagall coldly. "Mr Snape, I shall escort you to dinner, in any case, so you can see if she's already there."

I heard Sev splutter, but have no choice but to walk beside Professor McGonagall, as she marched him off to dinner. I waited until they were just about to turn the corner and ran for it.

I said the password to the Fat Lady. I looked around and saw his head turn. I slipped inside before he could do anything. I stood against the wall breathing heavily. That had been close, if he'd had seen my hiding place before McGonagall came, I had had to have talked to him, I really didn't want to talk. Not to Sev, not to James. Not to anybody.

When I got upstairs I sat on my bed and closed my eyes. It was bliss to know that I wasn't going to be bothered here.

"Lily ...? Lily?" Mary was saying. "Lily, are you alright? I haven't seen you all day, and you've missed the end of exams party."

"I'm fine Mary; I just needed some peace and quiet. What time is it?"

"Quarter to twelve."

"Oh, I didn't realise how long I'd been up here, I'll just get changed and go to bed."

"Mary should we tell her? I mean she really needs to know. He's asking for her." Molly was saying to Mary.

"What?" I asked curiously.

"Lily, don't get upset or anything, but ... Severus Snape is outside the portrait hole, and he won't leave until you come out and talk to him. He's even threatened to sleep there." Mary told me.

"WHAT?"

"Yeah, that's what he's said. He looks really upset; perhaps you should go and see him." Molly said.

"Fine, I will, let me get changed and then I'll go down and see him. Don't wait for me to get back; I don't know how long I'll be."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath." I told Severus "I only came out here because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just -"

"Slipped out?" I said coldly. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious Death Eater friends – you see, you don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You Know Who, can you?"

He opened his mouth but closed it without speaking.

"I can't pretend anymore." I carried on "You've chosen your way, and I've chosen mine."

"No – listen, I didn't mean -"

"– to call me Mudblood? But you call every one of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

He tried to say something, but I didn't want to hear it. I'd heard enough. I turned and walked back in through the portrait hole.

The common room was empty. Oh God what had I just done? I had just told my best friend in the world how much I hated him, and how we just couldn't carry on being friends. My best friend. The person, who'd, introduced me to this world of magic. The person who had guided me though it. The person who was always there when I needed him. And now ... now he won't be there to do any of those things. No I shouldn't have said that. I should have just forgiven him.

I ran back out of the portrait hole. I search every alcove in the whole corridor. He wasn't there. He had gone. I had really made my message clear. Severus Snape had left my life, and I was never going to get him back.

I walked back into the common room, and sat on the sofa. It was now midnight, the house-elves hadn't come in yet, and the fire was still burning. I watched as the flames liked the wood and rolled into the air above. I watched as they flickered and cast shadows around the common room. They were beautiful. I sat and watched them until I heard voices outside the portrait hole.

The portrait swung open. I knew who was coming in without looking. I didn't care. I didn't move my eyes away from the fire. The four people hesitated. After a minute or two I heard them go up the stairs to the dormitories. I still stared at the fire.

I thought I was alone. And let a single tear roll down my cheek. A hand touched my shoulder lightly. I jumped up, and turned to find James standing there.

"Go. Away. Now. Get out of my sight. Get out of my life. Go die in a ditch for all I care. Just go AWAY."

"Lily ..." he said looking worried.

"GO AWAY. FOR FUCKS SAKE JAMES YOU'RE THE LAST PERSON I WANT TO SEE. THIS IS ALL YOU FAULT! SEVERUS HATES ME BECAUSE OF YOU! BECAUSE OF YOU I HAVE NO BEST FRIEND ANYMORE. HE HATES ME. ALL BECAUSE YOU EMBARESSED HIM AND HE WAS TO EMBARASSED TO LET ME HELP HIM. HE THINKS I HATE HIM, AND HE NOW HATES ME BECAUSE OF IT. SO JUST FUCK OFF JAMES!"

"No! No I won't Lily Evans. You think I don't see the way he watches you. You think I don't hear how he talks about you when you're not there. I'm not the only one who's in love with you Lily, he's just too much of a coward to realise it, and now he's lost his chance because he called you a Mudblood. He loves you, but he's too embarrassed to admit it. I never made him say or do anything. I was just having fun. It's his fault that he thinks you hate him. You should. He called you a Mudblood Lily. Anybody who calls you a Mudblood isn't worthy of your friendship."

"SEVERUS DOES NOT LOVE ME! HE'S MY BEST FRIEND. OR WAS! NOT ANYMORE THOUGH. YOU JUST HAD TO PICK ON HIM, DIDN'T YOU?"

My vision was distorted by the tears in my eyes at this point. But I could see James clearly enough, I moved towards him and hit him with all of my might. He staggered and looked stunned. I raised my arm again, but he knew what was coming now, so he caught my arm and held it above my head. I raised my other arm, but he did the same to that one. He lifted me up against the wall so that my head was the same height as his. I tried to kick him, but he realised what I was trying to do and pressed his body against mine.

"Lily, stop it. You'll only hurt yourself." He told me smiling, his hazel eyes mischievous.

This made me even angrier, but I had nothing to attack with, he blocked it all.

He felt me struggling. He smiled even more.

"Let me go James."

"No" and he leaned forward and kissed me.

I was so outraged by the fact that he had the nerve to kiss me. He kissed until my anger evaporated with him. He felt me stop trying to resist. He softened the kiss. And I started to kiss him back. He let my arms go, so I wound them around his neck.

James carried me over to the sofa, and lay down. As he lay down he held me to him so I was lay on top of him.

We continued to kiss until the fire was down to embers. Only when the light had gone from the room did we stop kissing. He turned onto his side so I was lay against the back of the sofa. It was only then that I realised how tired I was. He hugged me tightly and let me fall asleep.

I heard him mutter "Accio blanket." And felt him cover me with the summoned blanket.

As I drifted into sleep I could only think that I had enjoyed that kiss. A lot more than I should have. Did I like James Potter? If I didn't what the hell was I doing kissing him and sleeping next to him. I didn't care at that moment in time; I had got rid of the anger and was now falling to sleep. The rest could wait until the morning.


	2. Distant memories

"When I woke up, the common room was orange with the sunrise. I sat up quickly, wondering if I'd slept on the sofa all night. It was at this point which I realised that I had been sleeping next to someone, and if what I remembered from last night was right then I was in deep trouble. I looked next to me and saw James Potter fast asleep. Shit.

If I could move quickely enough then I could make it look like I was never there. The only problem was that I was sat between him and the back of the sofa, and I couldn't get over him without waking him. I was trapped.

Without waking him I could see no escape. I swore aloud. I lay back down. I felt his arm wind around me. Quidditch had toned them nicely. They were strong and I felt secure in them.

Hold up, what was I doing thinking about how nice it was to be in JAMES POTTERS arms? It was JAMES POTTER! JAMES BLOODY POTTER!

I looked at him, he was smiling. I was tempted to hit him, he knew that I was trapped. I doubt he was even asleep. He seemed to sense my anger, because he pulled me on top of him. I was trying to wiggle free, but he had tightened his hold.

Fine if thats how he wanted to play it ... I held onto him and rolled over so that I was falling off the sofa. My weight pulled him down as well. And we both rolled off the sofa. He fell onto the floor, but he had let go of me which meant I could move out of the way before he fell on top of me.

As soon as I hit the floor, I jumped up and ran upstairs to my dormitory. If I could get up there I could pretend that what happened last night never did. As I was running I heard a faint "What the fuck." But I didn't turn back.

"Did you hear, James Potter slept on the sofa by the fire last night. Rumour has it that Evans was there as well, but I thought they hated each other."

"Yeah so did I, but it can't be true anyway, Marlene found Lily fast asleep in her bed this morning."

"Keep your voice down, she's walking this way."

I looked at the girls and they all stopped talking as soon as they noticed me. God who saw us last night. I thought the common room had been empty. I bet it was Potter spreading rumours. It would make sense, he'd want to be able to say that he'd finally got Evans. I'd kill him when I saw him. Lucky for him he wasn't in the Great Hall. I found a space to sit, away from other people. I wanted the space to think clearly. I looked up at the ceiling, and saw all the owls swooping in.

An owl landed in front of me. It couldn't be from my parents, they wrote to my just the other day, and we only corresponded every few weeks. No-one else wrote to me. I opened the letter. It had two words on it.

_I'm sorry. _

I looked over to the Slytherin table. Sev was staring at me. His eyes flicked to the letter in my hand. I gave him a disbelieving look, he had a pleading look in his eyes. I shook my head and tore up the letter. He slumped in his seat, so I took out my wand and muttered 'incendio' and watched the paper burn. I gave him a sarcastic smile and got out a book.

Just as I was getting into the book a voice said in my ear ...

"Well, last night was fun, but this morning was just mean."

"I have no idea what you're on about Potter." I told him not looking up out of my book. If I looked at him he'd be able to tell I was lying.

"You weren't calling me Potter last night."

"I didn't see you last night so I wouldn't know. But how was sleeping on the sofa, I mean was there any point to it, because I hear that all of you lot went out together and came back in together so why did they go up to bed and not you?"

"The sofa was nice, especially sharing it with the most beautiful girl in the school, I mean it would have been even nicer if she'd been happy. And as you were the only one in the common room when we came back in you'd know why I didn't sleep in my dorm."

"Well considering the girls unhappiness was your fault it wasn't meant to be nice. It was probably meant to make you feel guilty about what you did."

"Well, I didn't actually do anything, nothing more than normal anyway so it wasn't my fault."

I looked at him.

"We both know it was your fault."

"We discussed this last night."

"There was no conversation in it."

"We both agreed that it wasn't my fault."

"Where the hell are you getting this crap from?"

"Well to be honest you let me kiss you, and you let me hold you while you slept. Ect"

"Let you? You pinned me against a wall."

"You joined in."

I looked at him for a second and then felt myself blushing so I turned back to my book. Not reading it but useing it as a shield.

"In fact You seemed to enjoy it. Maybe we should do it again."

"Maybe we shouldn't."

"But it would make you happy."

"I'm perfectly happy at the moment thanks."

"You don't sound it."

"Well I am, or I would be if you went away and left me to my book."

"What if I wanted to talk to you."

"We are talking aren't we?"

"Yes but not about what matters."

"I don't need to talk about that."

"Yes you do. It's stressing you out."

"So what, I have one week left of school and then it's the summer. I can be as stressed as I like."

"It's not good for you."

"How would you know?"

He didn't reply.

"Exactly. You don't know what's good for me."

"I know I'd be good for you."

"There are many other things; I don't need to go down that road."

"Fine. I'll be here when you want me."

"As if I'd want you."

"You will, one day."

And with that he kissed my cheek and walked off.

I spent the most of the last week of term avoiding James Potter. Rumours circulated but I ignored them. Remus spent a lot of time with me. We talked about a lot of things. And it was the closest I've gotten apart from Sev.

Every morning I received notes containing apologies and every morning I burnt them. He couldn't get the message that I didn't want to be friends anymore. It was over. Well for me anyway, Sev just didn't get it.

On the last day of term I received two letters. One was yet another apology, and the other was from my family. I was confused because they had written recently. They wouldn't write unless someone happened. Tentatively I opened the letter.

_Dear Lily, _

_Mum and Dad were killed last night. You're coming home tomorrow but you needed to know. I shall wait for you to come home before we plan the funeral. Just so you know, it was some of your lot that killed them. I hope you're happy._

_I'll meet you at the station as usual. _

_Petunia Evans. _

"Oh my god ..." I said aloud.

My parents were killed, by some of 'my lot'. Wizards had killed my parents. What would they want with my family? Unless it was Death Eaters, and they were killing muggles for sport. Oh my god.

I started to cry. Right at the Gryffindor table, I started bawling my eyes out. They were gone, and I wasn't even there. And worst thing was Tuney blamed me. How could she, she had stereotyped us all into one and blamed Wizards for it all. She had no idea.

"Miss Evans are you okay?" Professor McGonagall asked me, she had come over from the teachers table.

"I'm fine." I managed to say.

"What's happened?"

"My parents were k-killed l-last n-n-night."

"I'm sorry my dear, do you know who?"

"Yes wizards did it apparently."

"I'm so sorry my dear. Do you wish to go home now?"

"No Professor, we only have one day left, I can cope."

"If you're sure."

"I am."

"Well, I came over to offer a proposition."

"What is it?"

"Beauxbatons Academy of Magic has offered an exchange between two students, they have offered a girl your age and we as teachers would like to offer you the chance to exchange for the year, and with your parents it might help you to be away from Hogwarts, a new start."

"Will it not affect my N.E. and that persons O.?"

"No, you will be taking the same courses, that you picked anyway, and the girl will take her O. with the fifth years."

"Oh,"

"Would you consider the offer Miss Evans?"

"I'll take the offer Professor. Thank you."

I told no-one about what had happened apart from Remus. He was both shocked and angry that my parents had been killed, and extremely surprised that I was going. He promised to write to me, and stayed with me on my last day. However the rest of his friends wanted his attention as well so I had to stay with them as well as Remus. He didn't tell them what happened, because I'd asked them not to. I watched them mostly during the day, and found that they weren't half as annoying as I thought they were. I wondered if the absence of Sev was causing me to look at thing differently.

I packed before I went to bed. I felt like I was moving away from Hogwarts forever. I knew in my head it was only a year but it felt like forever in my heart.

I couldn't bare to bring myself to think about my parents. It was too painful. I'd deal with it tomorrow, today was all about enjoying the last time of being here for a while.

I awoke in the morning and took a wander around the castle. I acknowledged everything know I wouldn't see some of it ever again. After breakfast McGonagall cam and informed me about the exchange to Beauxbatons and what I had to do. She gave me it all in writing as well so I wouldn't forget.

Afterwards we all went to the carriages. Remus had found me and we went down together. On the train I also sat with Remus, and James, and Peter, and Sirius. It was a pleasant journey for the most part. The worst part was at the station for a number of reasons. One was it was the last time for a year I'd get to see this station. Another was the fact that Severus came up to me and tried to say sorry yet again. He even offered to take me home, but before I could say no he had been sent sprawling to the ground.

"She doesn't care anymore Snivellus. She doesn't want to be your friend, leave her alone!" I could only stare at James. I hadn't seen him come over he just was there. "Are you okay Lily?"

"I'm fine thanks. Thank you."

"It's nothing, I saw him over here and you looked annoyed."

"Well thank you."

"Have a nice summer Lily; I'll see you in September."

"See you ..." I started to say and then realised that he wouldn't see me in September. But he was already starting to walk off. "James!" I called.

"Yes?" He said turning around.

I didn't reply verbally, instead I ran over and kissed him. I'll never know what possessed me to, I just did it.

When I stopped kissing him he looked at me with a shocked expression on his face.

"Have a nice summer." I murmured and then ran off, grabbing my bags and running through the platform barrier and to find Tuney stood waiting for me.

"Where's that boy," She said in an uptight voice.

"Not coming. He doesn't matter anymore."

"Oh, well come on."

I looked back at the barrier and saw James and Sirius appearing. James was in a state of shock, but had a huge smile on his face, and Sirius was just laughing at him. I turned quickly and talked to Tuney. She and I left the station, and I couldn't help feeling like I was leaving forever.


	3. The letter that never came

On the train I saw no sign of Lily, but then I assumed she'd be in the prefects carriage, Moony certainly was. James was bouncing up and down like an excited puppy at the prospect of seeing her again. I hoped she'd do something after the kiss on the platform, because I couldn't deal with a James behaving like this.

"Look!" Peter said, pointing out the window. We both looked and there was an owl.

"Open the window Prongs." I said and James let the owl in. It flew straight towards me.

I took the letter off it's leg and then it flew off again.

"Great, what if I wanted to reply?" I shouted at it, even though it was long gone. I opened the letter, It had two words on it.

_I'm sorry. _

_ From Lily.  
><em>

That told me all I needed to know. "Give me one minute guys." I said. And sprinted out of the carriage. We were at the back of the train so it made my job easier. I looked in every compartment all the way up to the front. Right at the front I found Moony.

"She's gone hasn't she?"

He looked at me.

"Yes. She's taken a year out at Beauxbatons. Don't tell James."

"We have to tell him!"

"No. Sirius trust me."

"I do, but Prongs is just getting more and more excited."

"I know. I haven't worked out how to tell him yet. Lets just leave it and pretend we don't know."

"But ..."

"Padfoot i'll modify your memory if you don't do what I say."

"Trust me, it's for the best. At least this way he can have a chance at getting over her."

"Okay. We won't tell him."

"Okay. I'm done now so I'm coming back with you."

"Okay."

Together we walked back to our compartment and pretended nothing had happened, but we both knew something had.


	4. The wardrobe

**A/N - okay a few of you might be confused as to whats happening with this story, so i'm going to clear that up for you all. I've grown bored with where the story is going so i'm changing it, the first few chapters will be mostly the same but it will then go in a different direction. I'm sorry for those who liked where it was going before, but I jus conuld write that so this is the new version. **

**Also whilst i am expplaining things the first chapter of this was actually for a competetion at school which i entered and i got fanfiction a few days afer that so i thought that i should put it on here and expand it :)**

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><p>Being back on the Hogwarts express was such a good feeling. I had enjoyed Beauxbatons but I had missed Hogwarts so much. I didn't regret the exchange but I was glad to be back.<p>

I saw a lot of people that I knew on the train, but none of them bothered me, mainly because they didn't recognise me. France had changed me in a lot of ways.

My compartment was empty because it was the heads one and the head boy hadn't come in yet. I had sent the prefects out patrolling corridors, none of them had a clue who I was, which was good because I didn't want a huge fuss over me being back, I just planned to slip back into Hogwarts routine.

I sat and read the whole journey. Nice, peaceful, relaxing, reading. When I noticed the sky was getting darker I decided to change into my robes. The Beauxbatons robes felt nicer, but were the wrong colour for my skin. Or that's what my friends there had told me. They did however help me sort out my Hogwarts uniform.

My body had changed from my last year at Hogwarts and my uniform didn't fit me anymore. The girls who were my friends took my out in the summer when we were on holiday, and helped me buy all the new things that I'd need. They helped to choose new clothes that flattered my new figure and a skirt and blouse to wear under my robes. All of my school books for the two years were in French, but I hoped that the teachers at Hogwarts wouldn't mind. It was only me that had to read them, and I knew the courses were the same at both schools otherwise Hogwarts wouldn't have let me exchange.

* * *

><p>After I was changed I continued to read.<p>

* * *

><p>The train eventually stopped, and still the Head Boy hadn't showed. I really hoped that it wasn't going to be like this all year. I really hoped it was someone like Remus Lupin, or Frank Longbottom and they'd just forgotten to show up. I put it out of my mind though when I got off the train. I saw Hagrid calling all of the First Years over to the boats. I had to go to the carriages.<p>

It was when I was waiting that I noticed them. Or rather they noticed me. I was stood waiting for the carriage when...

"Hey look, we've got ourselves a new girl." Sirius said loudly causing a lot of people to look my way. I wondered why they didn't see the red on my robes but then remembered I had my cloak on.

"What's your name new girl?"

I didn't reply.

"Hey Prongs, what do you think of the new girl?" Asked Sirius, and to my horror James replied.

"I think she's hot. Hey New Girl, tell us your name."

Again I was silent, but this time I actually looked at James and Sirius. They'd both grown. Sirius's hair was even longer. James's hair was exactly the same as always ... all over the place. I was sure he hadn't purposely ruffled it though; I'd heard he'd stopped that.

"Guys the carriage is here." Peter squeaked. He hadn't changed a bit.

"Yeah come on New Girl you can share a carriage with us." Sirius said as he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the carriage.

"As soon as we were inside they started with the questions. I still didn't answer. In fact I stopped paying attention. I looked out the window.

"Um, excuse me, Miss?" I heard someone else say, and I saw that it was Remus Lupin. I looked at him to show that I was listening. "What's your name?" He asked kindly. I still didn't want to speak, so I looked at him and hoped that he'd realise. He didn't. So I started looking through my bag that I had kept with me, and found a book. Remus had written to me the whole time I was at Beauxbatons and we sent books to and from each other, I had sometimes sent along the French copies.

I gave him the book and he looked at it for a minute, trying to work out what I was doing. Then it hit him. He looked at the book, and looked at me, and looked at the book, and then back at me. He then tilted his head to the side (realising that I didn't want to speak) in confusion, like he wasn't sure. I nodded, and he widened his eyes. Remus flicked his eyes over to James and Sirius, who were sat next to him, and I shook my head, I didn't want them to know.

"Remus what the fuck?" James exclaimed.

"Oh look, were here," said Remus casually.

We got out of the Carriage. Remus pulled me over to the side quickly.

"You're really Lily?"

"Of course. Look at my eyes."

"Of course. Your eyes are still emerald green."

"Told you so." I said smiling.

"You've changed Lily."

"I know, thanks for back there by the way, I don't want to deal with James yet."

"I guessed don't worry."

"They'll be getting worried about you, you should go back."

"Okay, but sit near me at dinner or come and find me in the common room after you've unpacked or something; we have loads to talk about."

"Or I could tell you in class, I mean we're taking all the same subjects."

"Do both," he insisted.

"I will. You really should go."

He hugged me, "I missed you Lily." He said and then went to join his friends.

I followed the group but at a distance so they wouldn't notice me.

* * *

><p>Walking into the entrance hall felt like walking into a dream. It was so nice to be back. I followed the crowds into the Great Hall.<p>

I looked around for Lupin and went and sat by him at the table. Not too close, but not too far away, he smiled at me when he saw me.

I took off my cloak.

"Hey the New Girl's in Gryffindor, when did she get sorted?" asked James.

"I dunno mate." Said Sirius. He looked at me, and murmured something to Lupin. Remus looked at me, and nodded to Sirius. He stared at me and raised his eyebrows.

Then the first years came in. They all were so small and they were shaking like they'd been out in a snowstorm.

After the sorting Dumbledore gave a few words of welcome, and then the feast appeared. The feast was its usual splendid self. I ate until I was full. It was heavy, but filling. Then Dumbledore stood up again.

"I have some start of term announcements to make, if you please:

Firstly I must tell all of you, particularly the First Years that the Forbidden Forest and the Whomping Willow are out of bounds to all students.

Secondly we are proud to welcome back into our midst Miss Lily Evans, who has been on an exchange trip to Beauxbatons, we wish her well as she returns to us ..." People started looking up and down the table looking for me. Two pairs of eyes stared at me in shock. Remus had the grace to not look, and Sirius just looked at me with a know-it-all smile.

"Lastly welcome to the first years, I hope you have an enjoyable year at Hogwarts, to welcome you properly we shall all sing the school song, pick your favourite tune and sing." And he made the words appear above him so we all could see.

Singing the school song was always funny because everyone was singing and finishing at different times. James and Sirius were the last to finish singing like choir boys but slowly drawing out each word. This earned them a few laughs. Dumbledore waited for them to finish and then dismissed us off to bed with a huge smile on his face.

I wandered upstairs to the common room. It was still the same as ever. I remembered sleeping on the sofa by the armchair in fifth year. I walked upstairs, I was about to go into what would be my dorm room, but I remembered I was Head Girl. I had my own room. Well dorm really. A mini common room shared between me and the Head Boy. I carried on up the stairs until I reached the very top. A lion statue was there. He asked my name and then when I told him, he opened a door in the wall.

The common room was similar to the one downstairs but smaller, and cosier. My room was the door on the left. It was a simple room, but everything was red and gold. It had a four poster bed, and a huge bookshelf. The room whole of the Head's area was circular each room was a conjoining circle. It was cleverly done.

I spotted my trunk and bags were on the bed, so I got to work unpacking. Soon it was all done, and I went downstairs to the common room.

* * *

><p><strong>James POV<strong>

I decided to go to the common room after Unpacking. I had completely forgotten about having to go to the Head's carriage on the train. I can't imagine what the Head Girl would have though. She'd probably be pissed. But there were more important things on his mind. Like Evans.

Fucking Lily Evans. She had changed so much. She looked like a stranger, she looks like a woman, God France changed her. She's still slim, but her body is the body of a woman, her hair is crimson rather than auburn, and that makes her skin look white. She wears makeup, and her clothes well school uniform flatters her. I can't imagine what she'd look like in her own clothes; I suppose I should wait until the weekend to see.

The only thing that's the same is that she's beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. She's just changed from a beautiful girl, into a beautiful woman.

But she didn't tell me, she just left. Lupin knew as well, and Sirius. Why didn't she tell me?

When I got to the common room I found Sirius, he said that Wormy was still upstairs.

"Where's Moony then?"

"Look over to the armchairs by the fire." I followed Sirius's words and was shocked. She was talking to him. Again. Just like in the carriage they were talking and laughing and having fun. I envied him. He had everything that I wanted in terms of Lily Evans, except I wanted more.

"There's nothing going on don't worry, I already checked. They're just friends. But you know the whole of last year he was writing to someone? Yeah that was her."

"Really, she still wrote to him?" If she wrote to Moony, then why not me?

"Of course, she didn't really have any friends here but him. And she needed someone who wasn't French to talk to."

"He's so lucky. I wrote to her asking where the hell she'd gone but she never replied. She really must hate me."

"Hey you never know Prongsy this year could be your year."

"Let's hope so."

* * *

><p><strong>Lily's POV<strong>

"You know Lily; maybe you should give James a chance."

"What?" Why did the conversation have to turn now?

"Lily, he's liked you for seven years. He's not going to hurt you, nor is he going to stop liking you. Please give him a chance."

"Remus, I wasn't here last year how do I know he hasn't fucked every girl in the entire school whilst I was gone."

"Because I was here, and he didn't look at another girl, he hasn't looked at another girl since he saw you, believe me we've tried to get him off you but you are like a drug to him, and when you went he was craving you the whole time."

"I don't know Remus; I don't know where me and James stand at the moment."

"At least think about it Lily,"

"I will."

"Well, I'm going to bed now so I'll see you in the morning."

"Night Remus." He stood up, and gave me a hug.

* * *

><p>After he'd gone I had nothing to do. I decided to empty the common room; after all it was the first day of lessons tomorrow. I started sending groups of people to bed. When only seventh years remained I went to bed. I was tired enough to sleep the second I got into the room, but I forced myself to get changed and settle down.<p>

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><p><strong>AN - right, a few things i need to put here **

**- I own nothing nothing at all it all belongs to J.. **

**- Thank you for reading,**

**- sorry again for changing it**

**- and the competition i mentioned ... i came second in it, but my friend iliketotastetherainbow came first with her story about the hunger games (if you want to look for it its about haymitches thoughts on the hunger games reaping) and its amazing (so is all of her work)**

**- thank you once more **

**love KCornish13**


	5. Flying vessel

At breakfast, a lot of people asked me about Beauxbatons. It was mainly Ravenclaws asking, so I told them all about the course, and showed them my French textbooks.

Remus came and sat by me for a while and we had a good conversation, I was slowly improving his French.

* * *

><p>"Miss Evans, here is your timetable. I trust you have all your books." Professor McGonagall came over to me.<p>

"Yes Professor."

"Good. Hurry off to your first lesson then." She said and left to sort out the timetables.

I waited for Remus to get his timetable and then we walked together to charms.

"Where are Sirius, James and Peter?" I asked as we were heading up the stairs.

"Oh, Peter wasn't hungry, Sirius was asleep as usual, and James went down really early."

"Oh. Remus to you know who the head boy is, because I really need to talk to him."

"Don't you know? It's James." I froze

"What?"

"James is head boy Lily."

"There must be some kind of mistake."

"No, it's him."

"Great," I said and continued to walk.

* * *

><p>Getting back into lessons was interesting, especially because they were all in English. The teachers were taking it easy because it was the first week of term, and we all needed to get back into school spirit.<p>

I found I had a lot of free time in my timetable. Mostly because at Beauxbatons I had done a lot of other things, like flying lessons available which I had took, mainly to improve my skill on a broomstick which, before I went to Beauxbatons, was none existent.

I generally ignored James because he wouldn't say one word to me. I had tried to talk to him in Charms on the first day but he refused to say anything. To sort out Heads duties I made a timetable of stuff and stuck it onto our notice board in the common room. He seemed to be doing his part.

In a way it was nice not to be talking to James, because he didn't annoy me anymore, but then it was boring having no one to get angry at.

After about four weeks of him ignoring me, I was angry.

He'd had a whole year to be angry, and now he was just taking the piss.

After Potions on Friday I caught him in the corridor.

"James Potter. Talk to me."

He stopped walking but made no sound.

"James!"

He took a deep breath, and then continued to walk.

I pulled my wand out of my sleeve, and hexed him with the first thing that came into my head. The first thing, happened to be Levicorpus.

The spell didn't hit him though. He blocked it quicker than the spell had been cast. Like he'd expected it.

He turned towards me and said, "I'm only doing what you did to me last year." And then he turned and continued to walk down the corridor.

He had spoken to me! Finally. But then it wasn't what I wanted to hear. I wanted him to actually talk to me. Not just say a sentence.

I was even angrier, I'd never felt so much hatred towards one person before, and before I could think about what I was doing I was running towards him.

I threw myself onto his back and hit and kicked every part of him that I could reach.

* * *

><p><strong>James's POV<strong>

How tempting it was just to turn, take the bloody girl in my arms and kiss her. But no, I'd promised myself that I'd get over her. So I took a deep breath and continued down the corridor, taking out my wand and putting a shield charm over myself, just incase she tried to hex me.

Which she did. I knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't stop trying to get my attention unless I said something to her. SO I turned and said something that would make her leave me alone. That it was just what she had done to me. Lily would have stopped then, because I would have hurt her pride.

But not this time. She stopped dead in her tracks, and I turned again before I did something even stupider.

I didn't want to hurt her, but she wouldn't stop unless I did. I could ask Remus to pick up the pieces later. Hopefully.

Then something rather small slammed onto my back and began attacking every inch of me within its reach.

I realised that the thing on my back that was attacking me was Lily.

Moving was a blur but I reacted instinctively and somehow we ended up with her against the wall and my arms trapping her on either side.

"You want me to talk?"

She nodded, staring at me, breathing heavily.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to hurt you." She whispered.

"Prongs? PRONGS!" I heard Sirius call.

"If you hate me though, as you claim you do, why did you not want to hurt me?"

I said and then I moved my hands and arms from the wall and walked away towards a very shocked Sirius, and leaving a very confused Lily behind in my wake.


	6. One last look

**A/N - Okay ... I warn you, I'm not entirly sure about this chapter. Its darker than usual, but take this as a warning that this story will be dark in some places. Sorry. Anyway here goes ...**

* * *

><p><strong>Remus's POV<strong>

There was silence on both ends now. She was shocked. And he was ignoring her. Her silence I could understand, but his?

He had refused to say why he did it, and did not mention the subject throughout the whole night. He seemed to be angry. Although none of us quite knew why, we didn't pursue the subject he quite obviously wanted to let it go.

He worked all night on an essay for charms.

* * *

><p><strong>James's POV<strong>

Just ignore it. That's what I had to keep telling myself. It didn't matter that she was entering the common room. I didn't want to be near her. I didn't want to repeat the scene from earlier. I had been so close to kissing her, just like two years ago when she had screamed at me. She'd hate me even more for kissing her.

"Prongs, I'm off to bed."

"Me too."

I neither looked or acknowledged that Sirius and Peter had spoken and left. If I looked i'd loose my concentration. And I couldn't loose my concentration.

* * *

><p><strong>Lily's POV<strong>

"You should go to bed Lily, you look tired."

"How long has he been working for Remus."

"Since after dinner, and that was about five hours ago."

"Is he angry?"

"Yes, but I think it's mostly at himself."

"Why at himself?"

"Lily, he's spent a year trying to get over you. And now your back and he's finding it rather challenging."

"So it's my fault?"

"In a way, yes. But he's also to blame, he needs to learn self control."

I looked at the fire for a minute before I asked my next question.

"What was he like when I was in France?"

"Well, the first day was one of the worst, he was so excited on the train and all the way to the great hall. He didn't fully realise until Transfiguration on the Monday, when your name wasn't on the register.

He went pale and didn't speak for the whole lesson.

He didn't say anything for a week unless he was forced to. We were all really worried.

He spent hours in the room of requirement as well. We just left him to it really, if he wanted to be with us, he'd come and find us.

After a while he became himself again. He'd talk to us and have fun. But if anyone mentioned your name he'd loose it for a while. And that got better as well. For one thing we soon learnt not to mention your name, and secondly if anyone did he just stop for a split second and then continue."

"I hurt him didn't I Remus?"

"Yes." He answered simply.

"Did you tell him about my parents?"

"Yes, and again it seemed to get better. I think he stopped blaming himself then."

"Why did he blame himself?"

"Because he pushed you too far, and then he hurt Sniv-Severus in front of you and he thought that you'd be angry at him."

"I wasn't angry."

"I know that, but he didn't."

"What happens now then, especially after today?"

"You apologise."

"How, he'll barely talk to me."

"I'll talk but will you listen?" A voice said.

I looked over to the stairs where James had been stood for God knows how long.

"I can't listen if you say nothing."

"I wrote to you. You didn't reply."

"I didn't have anything to say."

"There was a lot to say." He said as he walked towards me. Remus ran up the stairs. "You should have told me."

"I've already answered that." I said blankly.

"It wasn't a question."

"Then I have already replied to your statement!" I shouted at him. He came even closer to me. "Don't look at me like that!" I shouted again. His hazel eyes were full of anger and bitterness, a bitterness that didn't suit them. "STOP IT!"

"It hurts doesn't it."

I fell to the ground, tears streaming out of my eyes.

A pair of gentle arms then held me. I looked into James's eyes and saw that the anger and bitterness was gone, and they were replaces by looks of concern and regret.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"So am I."

* * *

><p><strong>AN - Okay, i'm sorry its short, and I'm sorry about James being so dark here. I don't usually ask for reviews, but if you'd like to tell me what you thought about this then please do leave a a review, it would help a lot. **

**As usual thank you for reading **

**love KCornish13 3**


	7. Across the stars

**A/N - Okay sorry that it took a while for me to update this, and this chapter is no longer dark, that way just a one off.**

**I own nothing.**

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><p><strong>James's POV<strong>

I felt awful. I shouldn't have done it.

I heard people running down the stairs and I knew that if I looked i'd find Moony, Wormy, and Padfoot all staring. But I didn't want to look. I just wanted to sit here and hug Lily until I knew she'd forgiven me. She had apologised, and I had as well. But if she forgave me it would be a miracle.

Lily however did look. She saw them all and immediately moved away from me.

She stood up and wiped her eyes. She looked around the room, bit her lip and then headed towards the portrait hole. No-one moved for a second, and then Moony ran after her.

I normally would have questioned why Moony wasn't staying, but it was clear to me that he though Peter and Sirius could handle me. He'd sort out Lily, simply because he was the only one of us that she didn't hate.

I watched him go.

"What did you do to her?" Sirius asked in an almost tired tone.

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><p><strong>Lily's POV<strong>

I ran, running seemed like the best thing to do. Where was I running, I had no idea, but I was running just the same.

I could hear footfalls behind me, but I didn't stop, I didn't even turn to see who it was that was following me.

"Lily! Lily! Lily, just stop!" Remus shouted. But it was not until he grabbed my shoulder did I stop.

"Lily, Lily please listen to me." He had taken both of my shoulders and was trying to look me in the eyes. "You have to forgive James. He's been so angry, lost an confused for a whole year. He had no way to express those feelings to you."

"But he just did Remus," I said trying to fight back the tears.

"And do you know how much emotion it took for him to do that?"

"I don't perticually care."

"Oh come on Lily, you're not the only one who's allowed to shout." He was now getting angry at me.

"How would you feel if the person you were in love with left for a year, and refused to contact you at all, and has suddenly re-appeared as if nothing has happened?"

"The same I guess."

"Exactly! So will you stop running please?"

"I have haven't I?"

"Look at me Lily and answer me honestly." Said Remus. "Are you upset or angry with James?"

I looked straight into his eyes, "No."

"Good. Let's go back to the Common Room then."

"Will he be there?"

"I doubt it. Why, I thought you were sorted?"

"It's not that, it's him, he'll be trying to make it up to me, and I really don't want him to."

"You feel that by not letting him say sorry, he'll forgive you for leaving?"

"Yes, and then we'll be even."

"Okay."

We walked back the Portrait Hole in silence.

As we entered the Common Room, we found it empty. Sirius and Peter had obviously sorted James out. I headed straight upstairs without saying goodnight to Remus.

As I got into bed though, I realised that Sleep was a long way off. I just couldn't switch my brain off, so I picked up a book and began to read.

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><p>When I put the book down the sky had a streak of pink across it. I got up to look more closely and found that the sky may be light, but the ground was white with frost. I sat back down on my bed and stared at the ever brightening sky.<p>

I don't know how long I was staring for, but when James's alarm went off next door, I found that the there was no trace of night time left in the sky. Instead just a clear, crisp, blue one.

I got up and pulled my robes on over my pyjamas. I'd get changed after breakfast. I grabbed my bag, and my wand and then headed downstairs for food.

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><p>As I sat down at the table, the fact that I had not slept hit me. But still I took some hash browns and a glass of pumpkin juice and ate.<p>

"Lily, can we talk?" A voice whispered in my ear.

"James, what's there to talk about?"

He looked at me as if I was on another planet.

"Look, i'll make you a deal, I'll forget it, if you do, and we'll go back to what we've been for the past six years. Okay?" I said bluntly.

"Can you forget it that easily?"

"Forget what James?"

"I don't know Lilyflower." He said with that annoying tone back in his voice. "Is this seat taken?"

And I knew he was back to normal.

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><p>By the time it was potions, just before lunch. I still was in my Pyjamas, although no-one knew it.<p>

At break time I went to the bathroom, only to look at myself in the mirror and scream. It was only short, but people still stared.

I was a mess. I looked overly tired, I was wearing no make-up and my hair was very sloppily put up.

I charmed my hair into something that looked acceptable, but I could do nothing about my make-up as it was all upstairs, and I really didn't want to trek all the way up there to get it, nor did I have the time to either. I did however splash some cold water onto my face, and while it did little to improve how I looked, it woke me up a little.

The bell went and I walked to potions, which was the last lesson of the day for me. This afternoon, I vowed I would sleep.

However the dungeon was warm, and smelt of pleasant smelling mixtures. In my seat I close closest to the nicest smelling one. It smelt of home. I saw that I had a pearly sheen coming off of it, and realised exactly what it was. Amortentia.

Professor Slughorn came into the room at this point and began the lesson.

"Right then, I am going to pair you up and give you a potion to make, and then I'm going to re-pair you and you'll make the same potion, and then we'll compare the results. Okay ..."

He paired the class up. I unfortunately was with Severus. He looked at me when Slughorn read our names out. I couldn't work out the expression on his face though. None the less he showed no signs of moving so I went and sat with him.

"Miss Evans, Mr Snape you will be making ... Vertiaserum."

"But Professor ... doesn't that take a month to stew?"

"Yes, Miss Evans, quite right indeed. You will be making it up to the point of stewing today, and I will stew it for a month and give it to you at the end of the year."

I nodded.

Me and Severus worked in silence. Only speaking when absolutely necessary. We both added extra ingrediants to give it more life, and we both watched what the other had put in to avoid speaking. Unfortunately I was extremely tired so he had to stop me putting in the wrong ingredients.

The heat under the cauldron was very nice and when we had finished, which was early, I was sat as close as possible to the fire. Sev was just watching me. He knew I was tired. And he knew that I'd snap at him easily.

The summer before I went to Beauxbatons, he had come around to my house every day trying to apologise. I had ignored him. I had nothing left to say to him, and did not want to hear what he had to say to me.

Remus had told me that he was now friends with a group of Slytherins, all of whom were expecting to become Death Eaters. I felt sad that he was with them. But then if he wanted to then let him. It was his conscious that he had to deal with, not mine.

I sat by the fire under the cauldron for about ten minutes, and then Slughorn called out again.

"Right then, you should have finished your potions now, I will store them and finish them off for you, and you can have them at the end of the year. Now one of you will move to a new partner and make the potion that that person has just made."

We all were paired again.

"Black ... Snape." Sirius who had been working with Lupin moved over to where I was sitting.

"Lily ... Potter." I stood up and started to walk when someone grabbed my hand. I looked and saw Severus looking at me with pleading eyes. I stared at him for a minute and then yanked my hand out of his. As I walked over to James I felt a hand on my shoulder. Sirius looked at me, as if to say 'are you okay?' and I nodded. He smiled slightly at me and then let me go to sit with James.

"Right then, what are we making?" I said.

"Amortentia." He said smiling.

"Seriously?"

"Yep, ask Slughorn if you don't believe me."

"Professor!" I called. "Potter refuses to tell me what we a brewing."

"Potter do I have to take points from Gryffindor?"

"No professor."

"Good, Miss Evans you're brewing Amortentia."

"Thank you Professor."

"Told you so," James hissed so Slughorn wouldn't hear.

"Oh shut up."

"Make me."

I laughed. "Do you really want me to do that."

"It might be interesting."

"To watch, maybe."

"Fine. Let's get going."

We sat and worked for a while, I was completely happy when I was in potions, because I was good at it. When I was tired though, I could easily make mistakes.

I was cutting the roots up when James whispered into my ear.

"You look tired."

"James I have a knife in my hand, don't make me use it against you."

"You know that Severus is staring." He said, his lips brushing my ear.

"I am aware, yes, now let me cut up these roots."

"As you wish Lilyflower."

"I think I prefer Evans." I muttered, as I added the roots to the potion. Now it just had to simmer. Again the fire was warm and I found myself leaning into it.

The potion had begun to smell of things. I could smell that homely scent again. It was lovely. I began to think of when Slughorn was pairing us up. He had said "Lily ... Potter." And it sounded like one name. Lily Potter. That sounded quite nice actually.

No, No, NO! I hate Potter. I hate James.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself down.

The next thing I knew, I was on the floor.

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><p><strong>AN - Thank you so much for reading.**

**Love KCornish13**


	8. Waltz of the snowflakes

**A/N - Okay, this chapter's a little rambly (does that make sense?) for my taste yet it's part of the story and I can't just skip it. So please put up with it. YThe next chapter will be far more interesting I hope, and I should have it up by tonight or tomorrow. Anyway, on with the chapter ...**

**I own nothing**

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><p>The First thing I was aware of was the nice homely smell. Then pain. My head was killing. I reached up to touch it, and as I lifted it I was aware that there was no floor. It had been resting in mid air. I opened my eyes and found myself being carried along a corridor by James Potter.<p>

"Put. Me. Down."

"Ahh, so she's alive then." Came Sirius's voice from somewhere behind me.

"Shut up Black, and put me down!"

"Lilyflower, if I put you down you'll collapse again."

"No I won't."

"Fine, Prongs put her down. She can found out for herself, but don't say we didn't warn you."

James lowered me so that I was standing. My head was pounding and the corridor was spinning a little, but apart from that it was fine. I took a step forwards. Still good. I took another step and the world started to sway. I took one more step and felt myself falling. My arms flew out to find something to grab. That something happened to be James Potters arm.

"Don't even think about it." I growled to James. Who was on the verge of picking me up again. I took another step and started to fall to the other side. At this point Sirius grabbed my other arm.

"Can we pick you up again yet?" He asked.

"NO!"

"I guess we'll walk like this them." James said.

We slowly made our way along the corridor.

"Why are you here Black?" I asked bluntly.

"Any excuse to get out of working with Snivellus."He replied casually.

"And you Potter?"

"Well I looked around to talk to you and you weren't there and I saw you were unconscious on the floor."

"Oh."

"Yeah so I shouted Slughorn and he said to take you to the hospital wing. And Padfoot came in case of an emergency."

"Oh."

"No arguments for us Lilyflower, or have you given up?" Sirius asked.

"I haven't given up, but I'm far too tired to argue." I said yawning.

"Oh no you don't!" James said, and pulled me up so I'd stop drooping.

"But I want to sleep!"

"If you sleep you might never wake up."

"I'm not concussed!"

"You might be, you hit your head pretty hard Lilyflower."

"Is that why it hurts?" I asked in a childlike voice. I hadn't meant it to be but I was so tired that my brain couldn't process the simplest of things.

"Yes."

"How would you know anything about concussion Prongs?"

"Because Padfoot, Madam Pomfrey told me one of the times I was in the hospital wing from a Quidditch accident."

"You know what Prongs, you could give a healer a run for their money." Said Sirius laughing.

"Shut it Padfoot or i'll give you a concussion."

"Oooo, I'm so scared."

"You better be Black." James said both of them were laughing. "HEY! HEY! HEY! EVANS! DON'T YOU DARE GO TO SLEEP!" James was shouting at me.

"Stick her head out of the window." Sirius suggested.

"What! Are you kidding?"

"No, i'm not joking! It's freezing out there and it'll wake her up, at least until we can get her to Madam Pomfrey."

"Okay let's do it."

Then my head was being forced out into freezing air.

"I hate you both." I called back into the corridor.

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><p><strong>James's POV<strong>

I laughed. Even on the verge of passing out, Lily still managed to verbally abuse me.

"Padfoot, is there a quicker way up to the Hospital Wing?"

"Yes, but its through that portrait at the end of the corridor."

"Oh God! That portrait hates us!"

"I know! Maybe for Lily, she'll let us through."

"We can try it."

"Okay ... do you reckon Lily will let us carry her again?"

"No!" Came a voice through the window.

"Tough." said Sirius and he scooped her up into his arms and ran for the portrait.

"Hey, hey, will you please let us up to the hospital wing!" Sirius shouted at the portrait.

"Oh it's you two again, I've told you before, NO!"

"Please it's not for us, it's for her! She might die. Do you want that on your conscience?" Sirius said to the portrait.

The lady looked at Lily, and then her frame swung away from the wall.

Sirius marched forward into the darkness beyond, I followed.

I had been through portraits before, but it didn't make it any nicer, than the first time. The fact that it was dark and you had to walk into nothingness, was unpleasant enough, but then you saw various other portraits moving through the tunnel, not solid, but not just air either.

Luckily the passage was short, so it wasn't too long before a light appeared at the end of the passage. We thankfully stepped through into the bright corridor, which was only a corridor away from the hospital wing.

Of course that didn't mean we didn't have to stop again, to put Lily's head out of a window once more, but eventually we made it into the Hospital wing.

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><p>We burst in through the doors and walked straight over to a bed.<p>

Madam Pomfrey came out of her study, saw us and sighed.

"What have you been doing now?" she said tiredly.

"You can explain Prongs." Sirius said to me.

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><p>Once Madam Pomfrey knew what had happened she went into her study, and came out with a three things, a two vials of medicine, and a small bowl filled with water in.<p>

She came over to Lily's bed, splashed a little of the water on her face and then gave her one of the vials and told her to drink it.

Lily looked ominously at the vial of blue liquid but drank it none the less. She gave a small shudder as she swallowed it.

"Right then, you two." She snapped at us. "Take her somewhere quiet, where she can sleep without being disturbed, and then let her sleep, wake her up every few hours to check that she doesn't have concussion, she shouldn't but just to make sure, then in the morning give her this and it'll put her into a dreamless sleep, let her sleep the whole day and then it's the weekend. Mae sure she's rested and the she can go back to school on Monday."

"Yes Ma'am ." Said Sirius giving her a solute. "Prongsy, you can carry Lilyflower."

"Not back to the dorm, you know how noisy it gets!"

"Where then?"

"The room of requirement. We can make it so that she can't hear the outside world."

"Okay."

I walked over to the bed that Lily was drifting off on. I picked her up and she scowled at me.

"It's Madam Pomfreys orders not mine." I said to her.

I picked her up and carried her down to the seventh floor. Sirius walked along side us.

When we reached the tapestry Lily was asleep. I walked past the wall three times saying to myself ...

_I need a place where Lily can rest, a place that is quiet and relaxing, a place where she feels rested and relaxed. _

A door appeared, I pushed it open and was amazed at the sight of what lay beyond it.

"Lily's been here before, quite a lot i'm guesing." Sirius said when he walked in.

"She's hidden from me in here before."

"And when she was sad. I think she found it on the first day, when her and Snivellus got spilt up, I saw her disappear though this door."

"You sure it was this door?"

"Definate."

"Put her on the bed Prongs and then we'll go."

"I'm going to stay, and wake her up every so often, like Madam Pomfrey said."

"It's your choice, I'll go tell Wormy and Moony." He said and made his way out.

"Sirius! What about Pyjamas!"

"Prongs, have you lost your mind?"

"No, i'm saying that she hasn't got any on and it might be uncomfortable."

"James ..." But the rest of his sentence was cut off by Lily.

"I'm wearing them under my robes." She mumbled.

"See, I said not to worry Prongs. Just do what Madam Pomfrey said and she'll be fine." And with that Sirius walked out the door and closed it behind him.

"Go to sleep Miss Evans." I instructed her and she curled up and went to sleep.

"Have nice dreams Lily."

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><p><strong>AN - Congratulations on those of you who have read through the ramble. It's not permanent I swear. **

**As always thank you for reading, the next chapter will be here soon,**

**Love KCornish13**


	9. Secrets of the Castle

**A/N - Okay as promised I have another chapter for you. Thank you for reading through the ramble that was the last chapter. This one should be alot better. I enjoyed writing this chapter and so I hope you enjoy reading it.**

**I own nothing. **

**Enjoy ...**

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><p>Flowers falling. Pink blossoms falling from branches of the trees. They covered the grassy meadow, and still they were falling. A young girl was skipping through them. She had red hair and was wearing a white dress. She looked no older than five.<p>

She fell over, but instead of crying she lay down on her back and watched the flowers fall. You could just see the sky between the trees. It was blue with soft clouds drifting across it. The girl watched it all with her large green eyes.

How long she lay there for was unknown, but when she sat up she was a young woman, in her late teens. She held out her pale hand and caught a flower in it. It opened and closed at her wish. She covered it in her hand for a second and then let it go. I was caught in a sudden, soft breeze and it flew away. The light was now that of an evenings, so the girl stood up. The blossoms all blew away in an unfelt wind.

She was now stood by a lake, or was it the sky? Perhaps it was a lake that was so clear that it reflected the sky, which now had millions of stars scattered across it.

Stepping stones were present in the water, and the girl stepped onto one. She hopped lightly along the trail of stones. Her pale feet were bare. On one stone she slipped and fell into the water.

Then it was Black.

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><p>There were clocks, thousands of clocks. All were different shapes and sizes. They were ticking softly. Each clock stopped though. When they stopped they turned to dust, which blew away, and left a boy standing there. A tall, dark haired boy. The girl was back again. He held up his clock to her, and as he did it stopped ticking. When it did the clock, like all the others, turned to dust, and so did the boy.<p>

The sight of it scared her. So she walked in the other direction, only to find herself face to face with a mirror. It was Ornate. Fragile. It had a delicate beauty. Then there was one behind her. And then one on either side of her. And then there were six of them. All around her.

She reached out and touched the first mirror and the glass smashed leaving a passage through to another set of mirrors. When she had stepped through the mirror another replaced it. These mirrors were less ornate than the last. She touched one of them. It cracked but did not smash. She touched another, and it happened again, She touched a third and it smashed leaving a doorway through to another set.

This set again was less ornate. The girl was beginning to understand what she had to do.

On and on the pattern went. The girl was getting more panicked, more scared with each set of new mirrors. When she reached the last set they were plain rectangles, dirty, chipped, pieces were missing. She touched each one of them, all of the cracked, but none of them smashed. She touched each one, several times but none of them smashed. She sank to the floor trembling. A tear rolled down her cheek.

In the shards of glass she saw the young girl. The child stretched out her hand and so did the girl, the second their fingers touched all of the mirrors smashed leaving complete darkness.

The girl opened her mouth and screamed.

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><p>Snow. Snow was falling gently. On each flake you could see the intricate design of it. The girl was there. She was spinning around , smiling. Every so often stopping to catch the snow on her hand.<p>

The snow can't have been cold because the girl was still in her white dress. The dark hair boy came again. He walked towards the girl. He was wearing a black coat, and a black scarf. He touched the girls shoulder and immediately she began to dance with him. Just happily dancing in the snow.

They stopped dancing and the boy leaned down towards the girl. The second their lips touched however, they were gone.

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><p>I looked over and saw that Lily had sat up. She was staring around in wonder. The meadow was the same as when the blossoms were falling, only this time the sky was white, and the blossoms were snow. She looked at me. And then came and sat by the edge of the bed with me.<p>

"Is this a dream?" She asked softly.

"You tell me." I said and leaned down towards her, my lips softly touched hers. It only lasted a second or two. When I drew back she was staring at me with wide eyes. She wasn't angry though.

I held out the vial of purple potion to her.

Wordlessly she took it from me. She looked at it for a moment, and then she looked to me. I nodded in response.

She drank it and immediately fell asleep. I put her head on the pillows and covered her with the duvet, and then I walked out of the room.

At the door I took one last look at Lily's world, with her sleeping peacefully, dreamlessly on the bed. Then I walked out, and closed the door. I looked back a second later and it was gone.

Gone was the world of peace. And back was the world of cruel reality.

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><p><strong>AN - I'm sorry that this is short. I didn't actually realise how short this was. Anyway, thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this, as muchc as I enjoyed writing this. **

**Love to all**

**KCornish13**


	10. Drink Up Me Hearties Yo Ho

**A/N - Okay a short chapter, there might be another one later as well. But its not definate. **

**I own nothing**

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><p>I awoke in the bright place again. The place where it was snowing.<p>

Nothing had particularly changed, except the boy sitting on the end of the bed, was Sirius.

"And she's awake. Finally. If you'd have slept any longer I would have gone to the kitchens and got some food."

"What are you doing here?"

"Making sure you don't die or something, I don't know really. Prongs told me to come and sit in here whilst he sleeps and does some patrols."

"What time is it?"

"About ten at night."

"How long have I slept for?"

"Ages. Anyway, whilst we're hear and we're alone we're going to have a little chat Lilyflower."

"Oh god..."

"Shush. Now then, firstly, what did Snape want in potions?"

"I don't know," I said honestly, "I haven't spoken to him for a year."

"Right then, that's good, stay away from him Lilyflower, he might try something."

"Since when do you care?"

"Since my best friend will kill himself if something happens to you."

"Really?" I asked disbelieveingly.

"Okay, maybe not kill himself, but you get the idea."

"Carry on."

"Why were you so tired earlier?"

"Because I didn't sleep last night."

"At all?"

I shook my head,

"Why?"

"I was just thinking about things."

"Did it have anything to do with Prongs shouting at you?"

"A little, but not in that way, I was thinking about why he got that emotional about it all. I don't care that he shouted, it's forgiven. And I'll forget it quite happily."

"Are you telling the truth?"

"Yes! Honestly give me some Veritaserum if you think I'm lying."

"Next question then ..."

"What is this a quiz?"

"Shhh. Are you planning to do anything about the fact that Prongs likes you?"

"No."

"Wrong answer."

"What?"

"You are going to do something. It's been seven years Lilyflower, and his feelings haven't changed. So I think it's time that yours did."

"But I don't want to."

"Evans! Please, do this. For the rest of us if nothing else."

"I'll think about it."

"No, you'll do something."

"I said I'll think about it."

"Not good enough."

"What can I do!"

"Love him back!"

"No."

"Yes."

"Evans!"

"Black!"

"Fine! I'll do something, but what I do is my choice, and if its not done by the Easter Holidays then you can step in."

"New Years Day."

"Fine."

"Promise me."

"I'm not making an unbreakable vow."

"I'm not asking you to."

"What are you asking then?"

"Promise me."

"Fine."

"I, Lily Evans, promise that I'll do something about James Potters crush on me by New Years Day, otherwise, Sirius Black has his way and tells me what to do about it."

"Seal it."

"Fine." I said. I Moved towards him and kissed him.

He didn't not expect me to kiss him, and was taken by surprise for a second, before responding enthusiastically.

After a minute we broke apart.

"You know, we are sat on a bed." Sirius said suggestively.

"Don't you have some sixth year waiting in a broom closet?" I said.

"Good point. See you Lilyflower."

"Goodbye Black."

"Prongs will be here soon, wait for him."

"Go!"

"Oh and I have one more question," he said as he was half out the door.

"What?"

"Why were you wearing Pyjamas under you robes?" He said laughing.

"Fuck off Black." I said smiling.

He closed the door and I was left in a bright snowy room. I smiled I lay back, and stared at my quiet, little world.

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><p><strong>AN - rather short, but for those of you who like Sirius it's a been a very Sirius based chapter. **

**Thanks for reading **

**Love KCornish13**


	11. One Day

**A/N - okay so i'm sorry for being slower than i have been recently, on my updates, I had a little writers block with parts of this.**

**I own nothing.**

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><p><strong>James's POV.<strong>

I walked into the room of requirement to find Lily sat cross-legged on the bed. She was catching the snow on her fingers, and then blowing it away. It was almost child-like, but far more graceful. She saw me come in and blew some snow towards me.

As she will it instead of just the one flake, her breath caught other flakes and a wall of snow came and hit me.

"I love this room." She said quite happily.

"It's amazing what you can find in here. It's like a thousand different rooms all locked behind one door."

She just smiled. She was like a happy child.

"Lily, do you remember the dream you were having?"

She looked at me curiously.

"Because I could see each of them. The room took me there, into your subconscious, and I certainly didn't do it, but I think that you did. You wanted to set the free, cast them out of your mind. Especially the second one."

"The one with the clocks." She whispered. Her smile was gone, and she looked upset, almost scared.

"How often do you have that dream?" I asked, because it sounded like she'd had it more than once.

"It started in France, just before I came home. I don't know what it means."

"You fear it though."

"Yes. Every time. The clocks, what do the clocks mean?" She cried out into the snowy room.

"Lily," I said, a little worried, she was acting very differently to the Lily I knew. "Can't you work out what it's telling you?"

"No, not at all." She stared at me with wide eyes. "You know?" She asked sounding confused.

"I can guess. I think it means that time is running out."

I could see the idea plant itself in her mind. "But what is it running out for." She pondered.

"Who knows. Maybe it's life."

"Maybe something's going to happen. I don't think it's death, because I still am there. Then there's mirrors ..." She stopped.

"I don't know what the mirrors mean."

"I don't want to know what they mean, I just want them to go away. They scare me."

"It's not real."

"It could be."

"Don't believe in it Lily, not for a second."

She stared at me again.

"Dumbledore said to us once, don't dwell on dreams, look into reality, however cruel it may be, it is a straight forward path."

"That sounds like something Dumbeldore would say." She said with a small smile.

"Come on, let's go back to our dormitory."

Lily slid her feet off of the bed, and into the snow. She smiled when she felt how soft it was on her feet. Before we got to the door though I reached into my pockets and took out three things. One was Lily's robes, that she had been wearing in potions. She looked surprised when I handed them to her, but she took them, and pulled them on. The second was the Marauders map, and the Third was the Invisibility cloak.

"The robes I understand, but some old parchment and a cloak?" She said sounding much more herself.

"Not just any parchment and cloak." I said "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

"What? What did that ... oh." She saw the lines appearing. "It's a map." She said incredulously. "It's a map of Hogwarts. With everyone in it, where did you get this?"

"We made it. You see, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. That's us."

"Wow."

"Don't tell anyone I've shown you though. No-one's meant to know." She nodded. "Nor are they meant to know about this, but this is mine so I feel more comfortable sharing it with you."

"The cloak?" She said in disbelief.

"You don't know what this cloak can do."

"Tell me."

"I'll show you, watch. Let me put it on first, and then we'll both wear it back to the Common Room."

"Okay ..." She said uncertainly. "James!" She said alarmed at the fact that I suddenly disappeared. I decided to humour her a little.

"Yes." I said back.

"James, where are you?"

"Right here," I said pulling it off my head.

"What? What is that?"

"Have you read the tales of Beedle the Bard?"

"Yes, I took it out of library in my first year."

"Well do you remember The Tale of the Three Brothers?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember the three objects that death gave them?"

"I think so, an unbeatable wand, a stone to bring back the dead, and an cloak of invisbi ... no! It can't be. No way."

"It's not the one from the story, they don't exist."

"How do you know?"

"I don't. I just don't think they do, anyway, this is off the point."

"It is."

"Yes it's an invisibility cloak, like the one from the story, and maybe the same one, even though thats very unlikely."

"So this is how the Marauders do it, a map and a cloak. Clever."

"We are rather clever aren't we. Anyway lets go back to the Common Room."

"And there's the James Potter from a few years ago. Bigheaded, and cocky."

"It was you who said I was clever."

"I was ... Oh never mind, shut up and lets go."

* * *

><p><strong>Lily's POV<strong>

We managed to walk back to the Common Room without meeting anyone. The Fat Lady was very annoyed at the fact that we were asking to get into the Common Room at a late hour. But eventually let us in.

"Again Lilyflower, go to bed. In the morning we shall do something."

"Oh am I allowed to sleep now ... wait a second, something like what?"

"Don't know, we'll decide in the morning."

"Great." I said sarcastically.

"Go to bed Lily, you're much happier when you had sleep."

"But I've just been in asleep for hours!"

"Lilyflower!"

"Fine!" I said storming up the staircase.

"You forgot something." He said just as I was about to go through the door into the heads dorm.

"I don't particularly care to be honest."

"You don't care about your wand?"

"When did you get my wand?" I said alarmed and running back down the staircase.

"When you passed out, I picked it up and was about to tell you that you dropped it, but you were on the floor."

"Give it to me."

"I'll exchange it with you. A kiss for your wand."

"James, just give me my wand."

"I'll let you think on it." He said and then he waved his own wand and made it impossible for me to go anywhere but bed.

"I hate you." I shouted.

"I love you too." He shouted back. "Now shut up and sleep, or you'll wake all the midgets up."

I was tempted to shout back but settled for curling up and plotting revenge. Tomorrow I shall teach James not to meddle with me. Even if it meant not using magic.

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><p><strong>AN - I have nothing to say really execpt ...**

**As usual thank you for reading. **

**Love KCornish13**


	12. Shooting star

**A/N - Okay, I apologise for the long wait. I wanted to have this us a few days ago, but didn't. But it's here now so enjoy ...**

**I own nothing.**

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><p>I woke up and for a moment I was happy, I was warm, and relaxed. And then I opened my eyes. I saw that my curtains were opened already, and by the door stood James Potter, twirling my wand.<p>

"So, about that kiss." He began.

"Go away!"

"You seemed to be a lot happier when you were sleeping. You actually smiled for once."

"I do smile." I said indignantly.

"Not that much, you should do it more."

"Shut up." I said and pulled the covers over my head. I waited for him to say something but strangely he didn't. "Why are you here anyway?"

"I decided that it was time that you got up."

I came out from under the covers, and stared at him.

"And I thought that you might want your wand."

"Well why don't you give it to me?" I said.

"Give it to you! Lilyflower, I've told you how you can get it back."

"And I refuse to the terms of that deal."

"Well then, I'll just have to come up with a new deal for you."

"You go and do that and let me get up then."

"As you wish Lilyflower." And he turned at walked out of the door.

"You know you could close the door!" I shouted after him. I distinctly heard a laugh in response.

* * *

><p><strong>James's POV<strong>

I walked down to breakfast laughing. When I sat at the table Sirius wanted to know what I was so happy about. At first he thought she'd actually done it, but when I told him that she hadn't, and that I'd agreed to think of a new deal he looked gleeful.

"Why are you so happy?"

"Prongsy, Prongsy, Prongs. Do you not see the potential here?"

"I do, but what do we do with it?"

"Hmmm, how about ..."

* * *

><p><strong>Lily's POV<strong>

As I walked into the Great Hall twenty minutes later I saw James and Sirius sat happily discussing something. Maybe not discussing, plotting would be a better word. I spotted Remus sat opposite with his head in a book.

"How long have they been plotting?"

"About ten minutes." He replied not looking up.

"What about?"

"I have no idea, something to do with a wand, I think."

"Oh god!"

"If it's something to do with you, Lily, I wish you luck."

"Thanks Remus, I shall be needing it." I said and then turned to the two boys opposite me.

"So, are you going to give me my wand?" I said, interrupting their conversation.

"Well have you reconsidered my last offer?" James said.

"No I have not."

"Well then, aren't we going to have a fun day." Sirius said.

"Excuse me?" I said to him.

"Well you see Lilyflower. We're going to have a game of hide and seek." He said with a wide smile on his face.

"What."

"Well you see, James is going to hide, with your wand of course, and you're going to find him, and he'll give you the wand."

"You'll just give it to me?" I asked uncertainly.

"Yes." James said.

"And what if I can't find you? Hogwarts is huge."

"Ahh, that's why we shall be playing in the grounds."

"It's almost December!" I half-shouted.

"They you'll have to make sure you can stay warm." Sirius said.

I glared at him. "And when does this game of hide and seek start?"

"When you've finished breakfast."

"And is there a time limit?"

"If you haven't found him by dinner then the old deal is back."

"Fine."

"Well then. We're off to hide. Well James is. I shall meet you in the entrance hall after you've finished eating." Sirius said.

And they both got up and left. I turned to Remus.

"Help me." I begged.

"Your mess."

"Please!"

"Nope." He said smiling.

"You think this is funny, don't you?" I accused.

"It is quite funny."

"Shut up Remus."

"Have fun Lily." He said. And then he got up and left.

I ate the last of my breakfast quietly trying to get my head around what was happening. James was hiding with my wand, and I was meant to go and find him to get it, and when I found him he'd just give it to me. Yeah right. As if he'd just give me my wand.

I took a deep breath, pushed my plate away and made my way to the entrance hall.

* * *

><p><strong>James's POV<strong>

It was past lunchtime, and I was still in my hiding place. It wasn't time to unveil the big plan yet. I'd let her search for a little longer.

I had seen her several times, she was wandering around the grounds wrapped up in a Gryffindor scarf and her school cloak. The day was chilly, and every time there was a gust she shivered slightly.

She was walking over to where I was concealed under the invisibility cloak. An idea occurred to me as she opening the doors of the broom shed, which I was stood next to. She stepped inside and started to look around. I slipped in behind her and put my arm around her waist and my hand over her mouth. She was momentarily taken by surprise and then she began to struggle. I pulled the cloak off my head, spun her around to face me, and kissed her before she could do anything.

I had kissed Lily before. Quite a lot, in fact. Most of the time they were short because she'd kill me for just doing it, let alone making her enjoy it. The only short kiss that seemed natural, and that both of us were happy about was the kiss that we'd shared was in the room of requirement. My favourite kisses, though, were the ones where she'd kiss me, like on platform nine and three quarters.

A pain brought me back to reality. Lily had hit me. She should have learnt that resistance makes me kiss her more, simply because at the point of hitting me she'd probably hit me more if I stopped. So I held her even closer, so that she was completely pressed against me, and kissed her more.

Both of my arms had been around her waist, so I slid one up her back and placed my hand on the back of her neck. Her lips started to move, as usual she'd forgotten her anger and had begun to kiss me back. I felt that familiar sense of relief knowing that however much she pretended to hate me, she'd always kiss me back after a while because she liked me kissing her. I decided that it was safe to stop, so I'd play a little.

I stopped and smiled against her lips. "Now now Lilyflower, this isn't what you're meant to do in hide and seek. You're not meant to kiss the person when you've found them. I believe that you're meant to catch them." I said. Then I pulled away from her, grabbed a broom, got on it, and flew away.

The last thing I expected was for her to grab a broom and follow me. But still, when I looked behind me there she was following me.

"James Potter come back here and give me my wand!" She shouted.

I flew a little further on before I stopped and turned. She came to a halt besides me. "Well." She said, stretching out her hand.

"You still owe me a kiss." I said simply.

"What! I said no to that, and this is what you've had me do instead!" She shouted.

"Fine."

"What?"

"Fine. Here you go." I said handing Lily her wand. "Now." I said grabbing her broom before she could go. "About that kiss."

"You want me to kiss you?" She asked, with a sudden change in her voice, a change that I didn't quite trust. Still I nodded, and she moved her head towards me. I closed my eyes, and then something hit my cheek, hard. My hand flew to my cheek and I opened my eyes to look at Lily. But she was no longer there. I looked around and then I saw her plummeting down toward the lake.

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><p><strong>AN - Thank you, as always, for reading. Please check out my friend iliketotastetherainbow as she is a brillient writer (And i'm not just being nice either).**

**Love KCornish13**


	13. The living sculptures of Pemberley

**A/N Okay I apologise for the long wait for an update, I've been busy, as always.**

**I own nothing.**

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><p>It would be fair to say that Lily was pissed off. She was soaked, freezing, and downright unhappy. I'd have laughed, but when I saw the expression on her face I stopped immediately. I few down to where she was and offered her a hand to get onto my broom, but she ignored it and began to swim towards the bank. I flew next to her.<p>

"Lily, get on the broom, the bank is too far away to swim to." I said holding out my hand to her.

She stopped, looked at me scathingly, drew her wand and waved it around her head. Suddenly a bubble surrounded it. She looked pointedly at me, and then sunk down under the surface.

I flew to the bank. She was taking her time to swim slowly. But after a while I saw a head appear in the lake not far from the bank. She paused for a minute and then swam towards me. When she got close enough she removed her bubble head charm and stood up. She walked towards the bank, her eyes set on the castle.

"Lily, I'm sorry it ..."

"Don't. Even. Bother!" She said not looking at me.

I walked next to her. She glared at me, and moved her wand faster than I would have though anyone could move. I saw a flash of red light, and felt myself flying though the air and then landing on the ground a short distance away. She had continued walking. I got up and began to follow her.

From behind I could see that her uniform was clinging to her in attractive ways. It was very distracting. I undid my cloak and ran towards her. Whilst I was enjoying it, it seemed unfair to let her go inside to where everyone would stare at her, well all the boys would anyway.

"Lily wait!" I shouted. She ignored me. Typical.

I ran until I was level with her, and grabbed hold of her arm. She stopped to pull it out of my grip, but I refused to let go. I grabbed my cloak and put it on her arm. The look of disgust on her face told me exactly how angry she was. She shook it on the floor and tried to free her arm again.

"Lily, listen to me!" She stopped trying to free her arm and glared at me. "As attractive as your uniform looks when you wear it like that, I would not walk into Hogwarts with it. SO I'm giving you my cloak so that you may keep your dignity." I let go of her arm, put my hands up and stepped away from her. "That's all I wanted to stay to you."

She picked up the cloak, wrapped it around herself and then stalked indoors. I followed at a distance, knowing that I'd find Sirius, Remus and Peter all waiting for me in the entrance hall.

* * *

><p><strong>Lily's POV<strong>

I went and had a bath. I needed one. The day had not gone well, that being an understatement. I planned to never speak to James Potter again if I could help it.

* * *

><p>After spending far too long in the bath, I dried myself and went upstairs to my room. I hung my towel up to dry, put my wet clothes in a pile that I would wash later and then put my book onto my bed, it was as I did the latter that I saw it. A small envelope bearing the Hogwarts Crest on my pillow. Curiously I picked it up and opened it.<p>

It read ...

_Dear Student._

_You are herby invited to the Hogwarts Winter Ball on December the 31st._

_You have until the 20th December to ask a partner, if not you will be allocated one._

_Formal dress is required._

_Attendance is mandatory for all who are in Seventh Year. _

_If you have any problems or concerns, please visit your head of house. _

_Yours sincerely Professor M. McGonagall._

After re-reading the letter, I put it under my pillow. Part of me was excited, but the other part of me was dreading the whole thing. I picked up another book and went out into the common room to read.

* * *

><p>"Lilyflower, we missed you at dinner."<p>

I looked up at James.

"And who might we be?"

"Well me, and ..."

"Exactly, I was not missed, nor am I hungry. And I would appreciate you leaving so that I can continue to read thank you." I really wasn't in the mood, plus I had already broken my promise not to speak to James unless necessary .

"You were missed because I missed you, and may I point out this is a shared common room?"

"You may point it out."

"Anyway, what about the winter ball? Are you going?"

"Of course."

"And who might you be going with?"

"No-one."

"But who will you dance with?"

"I won't."

"But you have to dance, its tradition."

"What is the point of this conversation?"

"To ask you to go to the ball with me."

I looked him up and down. "No." I said and turned back to my book.

"Why?"

"Because I don't like you."

"But you speak to me.

"Doesn't mean I like you James. I'll let McGonagall pair me up with someone."

"But what if he's a complete jerk?"

"Then I'll go to the ball with a complete jerk."

"But you'll have turned down an offer from a perfectly nice guy."

"Yes, that sounds about right. Apart from the fact you're not a perfectly good guy James." I said looking at my book again. Did he not get that I was not in the mood?

"What's not good enough for you about me?" He asked angrily. He had walked over to me and stood towering over me.

"Don't get me started James; I could talk about this for years."

"Years I have, so start talking."

I stared at him.

"Go on Lily, explain why I'm not good enough for you."

"Okay then, don't say you didn't ask for it though." This should be fun, it would screw up my whole plan, but he wanted to know.

"Oh I won't don't worry." He really was stupid.

"Well, for a starter you were a complete jerk to me on the train in first year. You hated my best friend for years, and proceeded to hex him at every chance you got, to show off, and hope it would impress me. Just so you know, it didn't. You then asked me out at every chance you got, despite the fact that the answer was always the same; you just couldn't take the hint. You then lost me my best friend. And the same night kissed me and held me while I slept. Like I needed you I could have coped myself. You completely ignored me for well over a month, then you made me cry, because it was 'all my fault' and just today you made me fall into the lake!"

"Thank you," He said.

"For what?"

"For finally making it clear to me about how you feel. Thanks. It's helped a lot to know exactly what you think about when you think of me. But maybe I should remind you of a couple of things first Lily dear. Firstly I'll admit I was a jerk, but I was eleven, it's what eleven year olds do. And twelve and thirteen year olds. Severus Snape is a git, and a complete idiot. I like you, so of course I'll ask you out. And one day you'll say yes ..."

"What are you planning to stalk me or something?" God he was actually arguing this, all I wanted was to read my bloody book. I knew I should have read it in my bedroom.

"I didn't lose you your best friend. He and you were drifting apart, and it just wasn't working as a friendship. Just neither of you could say it. And then he insulted you Lily, he called you a Mudblood. And anyone who says that to you isn't worthy of your friendship. And let's face it, you weren't okay, and you defiantly weren't coping on your own. And I think that fact that you scream at me made it clear whose fault you thought it was, and I knew that you needed someone. Plus it's not like you didn't kiss me back.

I haven't made fun of you Lily I've made a few jokes, but it's mostly been my friends. And to be honest, I have been taking the fact that you and Moony are friends, it's something new to understand about you. May I also remind you that you ignored me for a whole year, and part of it was your fault, however you know how sorry I am about that, Lastly falling in the lake wouldn't have happened if you, had just agreed to my first deal!"

"So that's you're argument."

"Yes, yes it is. Is there anything else, or am I going to take you to get some food now?"

"Yes actually, there is something."

"And what might that be?"

"When did you start calling me Lily, I thought I was 'Evans' or 'Lilyflower'?"

"When did you start calling me James?"

I glared at him.

"Now then, let's go and get dinner."

"I'm not hungry."

"Yeah right, of course you're not Lily."

"I'm not."

"Well then you force me to do this."

"I don't force you to ... hey what the hell are you doing James! Put me down! Put me down now!"

"No." He said simply.

He carried me all the way downstairs, walked right through the full common room, and out of the portrait hole. He walked me down stairs and all the way to a portrait of a bowl of fruit. He tickled the pair, and a door opened.

* * *

><p><strong>James's POV<strong>

Lily seemed to be using the old method of arguing and ignoring. She was on the ignoring part now, she'd run out of arguments so she sulking because she knew I was right.

I took her to the kitchens, because the house elves would feed her. I reckon if she had food she'd calm down.

"Master Potter, can we help you?" Asked one of the elves.

"Yes you can, you see this very pretty girl sat in my arms right now, is in a very bad mood, mostly because I annoyed her, but I think it's also party to do with the fact that she didn't have dinner, have you got anything she can eat?" I said this quite slowly to the elf, and said it as if Lily wasn't there.

"Of course Master Potter, we'll cook some food for you two, and we'll set up a table in the quietest corner of the room for you both."

"Thank you," I said to the elf.

* * *

><p>After two plates of food had been placed on the table and the house elf had gone back to its work, I decided that Lily should get out of her sulk.<p>

"You know the House elves will get offended if you don't eat you food."

She glared at me, and then started to eat.

When we had finished she asked if we could go.

"And why would we do that? It's quite cosy down here."

"What do you want James?"

"I want you to get over whatever you have against me. And we're not leaving until you do,"

"You can't keep me here."

"Want to bet Lily?"

She started fumbling around her robes.

"Where's my wand?"

"In the common room, where you left it."

"I hate you."

"That's nice."

She sat and sulked some more. The house elves cleared our plates, and left us to it.

"Aren't the house elves lovely?"

"Yes, they're sweet." She replied moodily.

"Come on Lily. You've got to stop sulking some-time."

She crossed her arms in response.

"Fine, have it your way." I said confidently whilst in my head I was panicking. I had no idea how to get her out of a bad mood.

"James. Please let me go. You're the last person I want to be with at the moment. And to be honest I want to go to bed."

"I'm sorry but you've told me all your issues with me and now you've got to get over them, and you can't do that unless I'm here, and because you're so stubborn and wouldn't come and get dinner, I brought you down here and fed you. I can't imagine the state you'd be in if i hadn't."

"Don't blame it on me."

"Why not?"

"Why do it?"

"We are not starting the Why, Why not argument. It's boring."

"Says you."

"Says most people."

She sat in silence for a while.

"If I say I'm over the issues I have with you, can I leave?"

"If you mean it."

"Then I'm over the issues." She said, and got up to leave. I went with her, thanking the house elves as I left.

"I have one question," I said as we walked back to the common room.

"What?" She sighed.

"Will you go to the Winter Ball with me?"

She took a deep breath. "No."

"Why not?"

"Why?"

"Lily!" She giggled. A sound I rarely heard her make.

"Fine, I won't go with you because despite the fact I've gotten over the issues I still don't like you James."

"Oh ..."

"But, if you want to, we can be friends?"

We'd reached the portrait hole.

"Lily. I'd hate to be friends. If this had happened three years ago, maybe I'd have said yes, but I can't now. It's far too late for us to be friends."

"Then I guess I have nothing more to say to you."

"And if you find something to say?"

"Then I shall be sure to tell you." She said the password to the Fat Lady. "Goodnight Potter."

"Goodnight ...Evans."

I followed her into the common room and watched as she walked upstairs. When she had gone I walked over to where Mooney, Wormtail and Padfoot were sat and kicked the wall, hard. I swore quite loudly when my foot connected with the stone. I turned to see the whole of the room staring at me.

"Do your homework, or go to bed." I said harshly to them.

I looked to Padfoot.

"Do we need to talk Prongs?"

I nodded.

* * *

><p><strong>Lily's POV.<strong>

I went upstairs as soon as I was in the common room. I just needed some space. I sat down in the shared common room, knowing that James wouldn't come up here for a while. There was a knock on the door.

"Come in." I sighed not wanting to be rude. James wouldn't bother knocking, nor would any of the other Marauders, so this had to be someone else.

The door opened and Alice Prewitt stepped in.

"Lily, not to intrude but are you okay?" She asked, hesitating at the door.

"Come in Alice." I said. Alice was in my year, and had been in my room before I'd left. She had always been kind to me. "I'm fine, why?"

"Because James Potter has just kicked the wall in the common room for no apparent reason."

"Oh, what does that have to do with me?"

"I know he was with you just before, and I wondered if anything had happened. You don't have to tell me, but sometimes it helps to get it off your chest." She said.

A sentence formed in my mind, but as it reached my lips I stopped it. I paused. "Shall we go into my room, it's a bit more private?"

She nodded. We sat on my bed and I found myself telling her everything. From the beginning of the year up until now.

About halfway through We heard James, and Sirius come upstairs. I stopped speaking immediately.

"You don't want them to hear?"

I shook my head.

"Is there somewhere we can go?"

"I pointed upwards."

"The roof?" She whispered.

I nodded again. "Come on I'll show you." I whispered. I grabbed a couple of blankets, then opened the window and climbed out onto the roof. Alice followed me. The roof was slightly sloped, but not far enough to make much difference when sat on. I could see over the grounds and towards the forbidden forest. In the night though, it just looked black. A small light was visible, which I knew to be Hagrid the gamekeepers hut. He was always willing to have tea with me, if I wanted to.

I handed Alice a blanket and wrapped another around myself. I then continued. When I reached to the part about telling her what had happened today I told her how, part of me was relieved that James had declined our friendship. It was the same part of me, which enjoyed kissing him, and him kissing me, the part of me that enjoyed being with him.

Alice listened to me and then thought for a moment. "Lily, it sounds like however much you don't like him, part of you does. And he knows about that part ... that part of you is his hope."

"But I don't want it to be. I don't even know what that part of me wants to happen."

"You're going to have to know that soon."

"Why?"

"Because soon it'll be too late. We'll have finished Hogwarts, you may never see him again."

"I can write!" I said quietly.

"You're not getting it, soon he'll have moved on."

I looked at her. "I don't know if I want that." She put her arm around me. "I don't know what I want!" I let out a sob. Alice hugged me.

"Do you want to come back down to our dormitory?" She asked. I shook my head. "Do you want me to stay?" She asked tentatively. I nodded. "I'll go and get my things, and you sort yourself out. They'll hear you if you go inside sobbing." She said and she slipped back in through the window. Wiping my eyes I followed her.

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><p><strong>AN - So I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading. I'd love to hear how you feel about the story, but don't feel as if you have to review. I will reply to you though if you do. :D**

**Love KCornish13.**


	14. Flying

**A/N - Oh my god! It's been ages since i've updated this. Ooooops, I'm sorry. Please don't kill me. But now I'm back with an update. **

**I own nothing.**

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><p><strong>Sirius's POV<strong>

I watched as the days went by. Neither of the two talking to one another, unless it was absolutely necessary. I remember James telling me about her offer of friendship, and how he'd turned it down. I was slightly scared that this was going to be it. She had obviously proved that she wasn't going to go out with him, but she had offered to be his friend, and yet he'd turned that down. I doubted that she would offer more than her friendship to him. But still I wondered if they should actually be together. According to James before they'd talked in the corridor, she was in a quiet mood, the way she normally was after being in a bad mood, but normally that took days for her to reach, and yet James had, got her to that point after an hour or two. Maybe he brought out the lighter, more carefree side of her. Maybe.

* * *

><p><strong>James's POV<strong>

"Hey Evans!" Sirius called across the common room. She glanced up at him, and then returned to her book. "Evans!" He shouted again.

"What." She snapped.

"Come and have a snowball fight with us."

"Why?"

"Because everyone else has gone out to Hogsmead."

"Well why don't you go as well?"

"We've been." Sirius whined. Why on earth he wanted Lily to have a snowball fight with us I had no idea. Was this his outcome of our talk? Try and force us to spend time with each other? God knows if it was I'd kill him.

"You really want me to have a snowball fight with you?" She asked skepticly, raising her eyebrows. Sirius nodded. "No wands?" She asked.

"No wands." Sirius replied.

"Ten minutes down by the lake." She said, and raced upstairs.

* * *

><p><strong> Lily's POV<strong>

Why I was getting ready for a snowball fight with Jam-Potter and Black I had no idea. There was silence between us at the moment. Stiff and awkward silence, that somehow felt wrong. I at least wanted to talk to him. But after what I had said by the portrait hole, I didn't see how. Alice said that I should start spending a little time with him, and slowly we'd become friends. We might not be close, but at least it wouldn't be awkward, and according to her, it might stop him liking me. Somehow I doubted her words. Highly doubted her words.

* * *

><p><strong> James's POV<strong>

I couldn't quite believe my luck, Lily was actually going to have a snowball fight with us. She had made it clear about how she felt about me, and had said barely anything to me since, so why she had suddenly changed her mind I had no idea, but I hoped it would stay with us spending time with each other at least. The silence had made me realise how much I missed her, even when she was shouting at me, but how could I say anything to her now. Kicking walls was very appealing, I just made sure that Neither Padfoot, Moony or Wormy were around when I did it.

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><p><strong> Lily's POV<strong>

James had stopped, I and Sirius had hidden, but James had his back to me. I seized my chance. I grabbed a handful of snow, ran, and jumped on his back. And shoved the snow down his jumper.

He was taken by surprise, and stumbled when I jumped on him.

"Very funny Evans." He said sarcastically.

"Look at it as revenge for seven years of annoying me." I told him, still on his back.

He laughed.

"Right then, where's Black?" He asked.

"I have no idea."

"Right then, be on your guard." He said and hitched me up further on his back. I laughed.

I looked around; there was no sign of Sirius anywhere. Then a thought stuck me. I looked up slowly, and sure enough there was Black sat on the tree above us, with a huge pile of snow next to him.

"James ... I've found him." I said.

"Where Lilyflower?"

"Lilyflower is smart enough to look up Prongsy." Sirius said.

"Oh my god." Said James spotting where Sirius was and the huge pile of snow next to him.

Sirius saw his opportunity and pushed the snow. It landed right on top of me and James. James fell over and I went down with him. Sirius jumped down from the tree, and fell down with laughter. And suddenly, the whole thing was funny. I started laughing along with Sirius, and then James joined in. We just lay in the snow laughing.

"Lily! You do know the time don't you." Remus shouted from in the castle.

I looked and he had his head poked out of a window.

"No. Why?"

"Because you've got to go and get ready. McGonagall told me to get you. She says go to her office."

"Crap! I'm on my way. Thanks Remus."

I stood up. And then my hand was yanked back down.

"Don't go Lilyflower."

"James I have to. It's McGonagall and you know what she's like."

He let go of my hand,

"See you later Lilyflower." Called Sirius.

I wandered inside, and made my way to McGonagall's office. I couldn't believe how much fun I had had today. Sure the ball was later, but then I'd worry about it later. I didn't even have a dress, but I didn't particularly care. I had stopped the silence between James and I, and had just let myself go. Maybe Alice had been right.

I got to the door, and then realised I was soaked to the bone, so I cast a quick spell and all my clothes were completely dry.

Then I knocked.

"Come in."

I opened the door, and stepped inside.

"Ahh Miss Evans."

"Yes Professor?"

"As you know there will probably be a party long after the ball tonight, and I need to make sure that all the Gryffindor's get safely to bed at the end of it."

"Of course Professor. Is there anything else you need help with?"

"No Miss Evans, although I am curious as to why I am matching you up with a partner tonight. Did you not get asked? Why surely the head boy would take you if you wanted."

"It's okay Professor, he already asked me and I turned him down. I wanted to get to know the students of my year a little better." I lied. I had prepared the lie, after James had asked me so if people asked why I had turned him down then I had an excuse.

"Hmmm. That is all." She said dismissing me. I turned to go, but the question was burning in my throat, and before I could stop it, it had slipped out.

"Why didn't you ask J-Potter to help me clear up the party?" I froze, the second it had left my mouth.

"Because, Miss Evans," She said, with an obvious smirk on her face, "Potter, will be the one in the middle of the party, refusing to end it."

"Oh." I said and exited her office before I could ask anything else.

* * *

><p>I went back to my room, the last thing I expected to find there was Alice, with a girl called Marlene, and several packages on my bed.<p>

"Um, hi?" I said.

"Hello Lily. Sorry about being here, Alice made me come with her. She said that she'd help me get ready, but we had to help you as well. I hope you don't mind." Malene said.

"It's okay Marlene." I didn't know Marlene too well, we hadn't spent that much time together since I had come back from France. She was like Alice in the sense that she had shared a room with me all the way through our time at Hogwarts, but we hadn't become too close. She was nice though, and had hung out with me and Alice recently. "Alice ..." I said turning to the other girl sat on my bed.

"Did you really think that I hadn't noticed you not being ready for this Ball?" She asked.

"I had hoped that you hadn't." I replied with a sigh.

"Well I had. I noticed weeks ago."

"What did you do?" I asked warily.

"Simple really. I wrote to your friends in France, and explained what was happening ..."

"You speak French?" I asked.

"No, but Marlene does." I looked at her and smiled. Alice continued. "And they wrote back to us, and agreed to meet us in Hogsmead today. They gave us these," She said indicating to the packages on my bed, "and then told us to tell you to keep them, when you're done with them. They also said that they'll be in Hogsmead for a few days, and to go and visit them soon, before they go home."

"Oh, I'll go and see them tomorrow. What's in the packages?"

"That is for you to find out later, firstly tell us why you look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards."

"Snowball fight." I muttered.

"Well then, to the prefects bathroom we go."

I let them take me to the bathroom, and did as they told me to. My mind was running through all that had happened today, and I found myself smiling for most of the time. I quickly realised though, that the time for having fun had passed, and now it was time to get ready for a ball, that I wasn't sure that I wanted to go to.

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><p><strong>AN - So as always Thanks for taking the time to read this. I apologise again for not updating sooner, and I have no idea as to when the next one will be. Hopefully sooner than it took me to do this one. **

**Much love **

**KCornish13**


	15. Rose

**A/N - So i'm back again. And for me, this is a quick update considering I left this for a few months. There are some important things in the arthors note at the bottom of this so please read it, if you like this story. **

**I own nothing.**

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><p><strong>James's POV.<strong>

"Prongs, we have to go and get ready don't we?"

"Yes Padfoot. You can't skip this. And we have half an hour to get ready, before we have to go and get given partners."

"Bad luck mate, not getting Lilyflower, although I always want to be on her side in a snowball fight."

"That was so fun."

"I know. Come on, let's go." I was dreading the ball as much as Sirius was. We were being matched with people. Sirius of course, hadn't asked anyone, and I had been turned down. We'd both agreed that it wasn't worth it. There was nothing wrong with the girls in our house, but apart from Lily, there was no-one that I wanted to go with.

* * *

><p>Unwillingly we went down to the common room. All afternoon we had heard commotion in Lily's room, but we were wise enough not to enter, we'd both seen, and felt what she could do with snow. And that was wand-less. There was the feeling that if we entered Lily's room then we'd be attacked, by not only one girl, but two, possibly three girls. Sirius and I went straight down to the common room and stood by a group of boys. They were a few years younger than us and all had masks on.<p>

Professor McGonagall was frantically trying to sort the parings out. Her system was very organised ... call out a boy's name, he'd step forwards, and then she'd send an older girl that she'd asked to help out to the girls dormitory to find the girl he was paired with. The rule of paring was that you were not allowed to know your partner until midnight.

We stood waiting until McGonagall spotted Sirius and I and told us to help, well asked me to help. I was getting the boys as they were waiting to be paired up with their partner.

Eventually everyone was sorted, even Sirius had a partner.

"Thank you Potter." Professor McGonagall was saying to me.

"Professor, I don't have a partner." I said to her.

"Of course you do Potter, why would I leave the head boy out? Although I am surprised to say that you didn't ask anyone."

"I did ask someone Professor, but she turned me down."

"May I ask who?"

"Does it matter?"

"I suppose not, although you sound a little upset by it, are you sure it's okay Potter?"

"It's fine Professor, honestly."

"Right then, I shall go and get your partner then."

I stood waiting for her to return with my partner. She was one of four girls, Marlene McKinnon, Emily MacMillan, Mary McDonald, Alice Prewitt, or Lily. And the probability was that people had already asked them.

McGonagall came down the stairs; following her was a beautiful girl. Her dress was emerald green, and beautiful, it had a v-neck neckline, and at the top ascended into tiny silver chains. The waist had a delicate jewelled pattern of leaves and flowers which covered her waist before the long skirt fell out from under the petals. The dress was backless, apart from the silver chains of the straps slowly becoming jewelled, and joining the waist of the dress. Her hair was crimson and pinned up on top of her head, apart from where loose curls framed her face. Her mask was white, with the same floral design on her dress, but repeated in white with little hints of green here and there, and green outlining the eyes of the mask. Upon closer look, her eyes were green as well. The same green as her dress, and mask. She was absolutely stunning.

A small part of me wondered who Lily was paired with, or if she had asked someone. Suddenly I was jealous of that boy. I knew that it was unfair to be jealous, because my partner was absolutely beautiful, but still I felt jealous.

"You look lovely." I said to my partner, using basic mannerisms that usually I wouldn't bother if I knew who she was, but as I had no idea, or that really she was one of five girls. "However, you're a little unpatriotic to Gryffindor, aren't you?" I said making a joke. Luckily the girl laughed, shrugging. "Shall we?" I said offering her my arm, which she took.

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><p><strong>Lily's POV<strong>

Inside the Great Hall was beautiful; it looked like something from a fairy tale. It was like a snowy clearing in the middle of a forest, there were huge trees (Christmas trees) covered in decorations and snow. Icicles hung from everywhere. There was a river running in the hall with stepping stones to cross, and a clearing in the middle for dancers.

My partner seemed to be okay. He was being kind, and was making a few jokes to ease the tension. He'd even told me that I looked lovely. The night was lost in dancing and talking with him mostly, and all of the stress about everything that was happening went away.

Whilst Alice, and Marlene had helped to get me ready I caught sight of a newspaper and began to read it. The top story had been about He Who Must Not Be Named rising and growing in power. There were articles about keeping yourself safe, and worst of all stories of people who had gone missing. This had been building up for a while, but it had suddenly got much, much worse, Dumbledore himself was building up an army to fight against him. The worst thing was that Severus was on his side. Severus, had, or would very soon join him. But then I had known this, the day we went our separate ways was the day I knew where he would end up, who's side he'd be on.

But for tonight, that could all disappear. Hopefully.

"Excuse me, do you mind, I need to use the bathroom." I said to my partner.

"So do I actually, I'll meet you by the doors to the Great Hall in ten minutes?"

"Yeah, that's fine." I said. I walked towards the door, as I was passing Alice and Marlene I tapped them on the shoulder, hoping that they'd follow me. Luckily they did. We went to the bathroom, before any of us said a word.

"Who have you got?" We all shouted at the same time.

"One at a time!" Marlene giggled. We took off our masks.

"I've got Frank Longbottom." Alice exclaimed before anyone else could get a word in edgeways.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Of course, he practically told me."

"Marlene?" I asked.

"I could be wrong, but I've got Sirius Black." She said hesitantly.

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Do you know how many girls would love to be you?" I said to her, she blushed slightly.

"And some of the boys." Alice added dryly. Marlene and I laughed.

"So then Lily, who do you reckon you've got?"

"I have no idea. Although he seems really sweet, and charming." I confessed.

Marlene and Alice both burst into hysterics.

"What?"

"You honestly don't know?" Alice said between laughing.

"No I don't!" I said indignantly.

"She's not lying is she Alice?"

"No, she's defiantly not lying, you'd know if she were."

"What!"

"We'll let you work it out Lily. Marlene, remember to remind me to never let Lily forget what she said."

"Oh don't worry, I shall." Marlene assured her.

"See you later Lily." They said and left the bathroom, leaving me feeling very confused. Did they know who my partner was? I put on my mask and walked out of the bathroom, and headed back to the Great Hall, still feeling very confused.

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><p><strong>James's POV<strong>

I looked over to where Sirius was being extremely polite to his partner, he had obviously worked out who he had as a partner. I was rather grateful that she made the excuse of visiting the bathroom first. Some other girls also were going out of the hall, but none looked as beautiful as she did. I saw Sirius standing alone, so I headed over to him.

"Bathroom." I said, and we both walked out of the Great Hall.

Of course we didn't plan on going to the bathroom at all, we walked a little way down the corridor and then took off our masks.

"Who've you got?" I asked.

"Marlene McKinnon. You?"

"I've got no idea."

"You're kidding, right?"

"I'm not kidding."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"How stupid can you get Prongs?"

"What?"

"You honestly don't know?"

"No!"

"I'm not telling you then."

"Why not?"

"Because you need to work it out."

"Please." I begged.

"No." Sirius said, with an air of finality. "Moony, and Wormy won't tell you either, so don't bother."

"Damn."

"What do you think about your partner?" He asked.

"She's beautiful! And she's nice too, she talks to me, and she laughed at my jokes."

"Have you danced with her yet?"

"Yes."

"Did she enjoy it?"

"How do you know?"

"James, I know what most of the girls at Hogwarts like."

"You've slept with her?"

"I'm not saying."

"Sirius! Tell me!"

"No. Now run along Prongs, she'll be waiting for you."

I pulled my mask back on, and started to walk away. "You know I hate you." I called over my shoulder to him.

"Of course Prongs, would I be here otherwise?"

* * *

><p>I found my partner waiting by the door's like we'd agreed. She smiled when she saw me and held out her hand. For once in my life I took Sirius's advice, and asked her to dance.<p>

"Do you want to dance?"

"Only if you do."

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><p><strong>Lily's POV<strong>

We walked straight into the great hall, hand in hand, and went straight out to the clearing on whicih couples were dancing. The song was slow, so we just began to turn and sway to the beat. Somewhere along the line, my mind began to wander, and I was getting lost in the dance. The strange thing was, that in the little world that I usually lost myself in, I wasn't alone this time. My partner was the with me. Our faces were getting closer and closer, without wither of us realising it.

Suddenly the song ended, and my face was inches away from his. Reality had hit me again, and everything that I had tried so hard to forget, came rushing back into my head. I pulled away.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this." I whispered.

I let go of him. Turned, and ran.

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><p><strong>AN - So thanks for reading. I can assure you that the ball is not over for James and Lily, and the next few parts of the story are mostly planned, as to when they get written and updated I have no idea, I have a lot of school work and other things to do. **

**I'm also going to have to put the rating of this up to an M. Not for sexuall content, but for references to darker things, so i'm sorry. I will try to keep it as clean as I can, but things will be implied, so i'm sorry. (It won't happen for a good few chapters though, and i'll give you warning in th authors note at the top of the page if it will have M content in it). It won't always be M rated though. Mostly T for language, and then K for the rest of it. Please don't give up on it if you don't like M rated things.**

**Much love**

**KCornish13**


	16. A window to the past

**A/N - Hello again! Yet another quick update (for me). Thanks to those of you who left reviews. They made me smile. **

**I own nothing, as usual.**

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><p><strong>James's POV<strong>

I followed her outside into the cold night air. She didn't go further than the top of the steps because of the snow, but she was stood on the spinning around and around. I leant on one of the pillars that framed the doors of the Entrance Hall.

"You seem happy tonight?" I commented, we both knew that it was a lie.

"Of course I am. It's Christmas, there's snow, and I'm having a wonderful time ... and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do this again." She matched the lie, with a well rehearsed cover story.

I pretended to study her. "You're scared?" I asked softly.

She stopped spinning. "I'm terrified." She admitted. "We have no idea who'll win this war. We'll all talk about us being able to win, but really the outcome is anyone's guess."

"Will you fight?"

She nodded.

"You're right. Anyone could win this war, but it's no good dwelling on that now, what would be worse, would be losing and knowing that you then couldn't do everything that you wanted to do."

She looked at me with doubt and fear and worry in her eyes. "I'm still scared." She whispered.

"Well at least for tonight, we can forget about it."

"I was trying to, but it just won't go away."

"Keep trying, don't give up, and it'll go away."

A small sad smile appeared on her lips. I gave into the temptation that had been building in my body, and pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and held me close to her. I buried my face in her neck, she smelt lovely, and somehow I was reminded of Amortentia.

After a while, she pulled away. She looked up at the crescent shaped moon, smiled a sad smile, and the made her way inside. As she walked past she stood up on her tip-toes and kissed my cheek. I was glad she left without looking back, otherwise she'd have seen the burning red colour that my cheeks instantly went.

* * *

><p><strong>Sirius's POV<strong>

I watched them as they re-entered the Great Hall, James following slightly behind Lily, his cheeks slightly pink. They must have worked it out by now? Surely! Yet they were still dancing, and acting as though they did not know who the other was. For two clever people, James and Lily really were quite dense.

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><p><strong> Lily's POV<strong>

A few minutes to midnight again saw me dancing with my partner loosing myself in the music and his hazel eyes ...

Hazel eyes.

Hazel eyes, dark hair, slightly messy, mischievous smile, Gryffindor. Oh God! My partner was James Potter!

My first coherent though was did he know. My guess was that he didn't, he would have given it away somehow.

I know now why Alice and Marlene had laughed at me. Oh God, I was never going to be able to let that down.

"Is something wrong?" James asked. Noticing how tense I suddenly had become.

"No," I replied in a high voice. "Nothing's wrong, I just remembered something that I erm had to do."

"Oh. Something important?"

"Yes. A letter that I need to send."

"I see." He paused for a minute, obviously wanting to say something more, but feeling unsure of how to say it. "Can I ask you something?" He said uncertainly.

"Of course."

"Why did you kiss me ... outside?"

"Because I've never told anyone about that, and you're the first person that I did tell, and you were sweet about it."

"So you kissed me?"

"On the cheek to show my thanks."

"Oh."

"My turn, what will happen after tonight?"

"Well, we'll either go our separate ways, or we'll sort something out, at the after party."

"Okay."

I looked up at him, and met his eyes. They were a beautiful shade of hazel, and I'd never noticed that the hazel was tinted with tiny bits of gold. In a way each eye reminded me of the sun, and as the colour changed the further out it got, it was like the sky.

I didn't notice how close we were getting.

* * *

><p><strong> James's POV<strong>

Her eyes were the most beautiful shade of green. Whether she had used magic or not to make them that colour, I didn't know, but they were beautiful, and mesmerising.

* * *

><p><strong> Lily's POV<strong>

I had no idea how, but we were kissing. One minute we were looking at each other, and the next, our lips met.

How did this keep happening, I vowed never to kiss James Potter, and yet we had kissed so many times that I had lost count. My brain would shout reason at me, but I'd never listen to reason. It's far too sensible.

Then I'd forget everything, and find myself enjoying kissing him. And this feeling would last until something broke me out of it. This time, it happened to be the clock chiming midnight.

We broke apart, James had an incredulous smile on his face. He reached up and took of his mask, revealing his face to me.

"I knew it!" I whispered to myself, even thought he could hear.

"How long have you known?" He asked shocked.

"Since about five minutes ago."

"Oh."

He looked at me expectantly. "Wha-oh." I said becoming conscious of the fact that my mask was still on my face. Suddenly I didn't want to take it off. He didn't have to know who I was.

"One minute." I said, and I bent down and took of my shoes. I knew that if I left them on the floor, Alice would get them. When I straightened up James was still looking at me, waiting. I looked at him, kissed him on the lips quickly, and then ran. I did not look back to see if he followed me.

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><p><strong> Sirius's POV<strong>

I saw Lily take off her shoes, kiss him and then run. I laughed, at least she had worked it out. James was just stood there at a loss for words. He was still completely clueless. He picked up the shoes, and then looked towards the way she had fled. He looked lonely, as everyone else was with their partners, me included. Marlene was stood with me, looking at James.

"I would have thought you'd have told him." She said to me, though her eyes were still watching him pityingly.

"Nah, where Lily is concerned, he's better off finding out himself."

"I see."

"What about you, you knew that it was Lily."

"Yeah, but then she's the same, she needs to work it out, and I don't think either of them knew for the most part of it. Clever of McGonagall though."

"She has a very good sense of humour, underneath her strictness."

"He looks like he's just woken up from a good dream." She commented.

"Probably has." I said dryly.

"What now?"

"Well, he'll spend the whole after party searching for her, and if he doesn't find her we won't ever hear the end of it."

"I pity you."

"And her?"

"She'll make up some story."

"Always so stubborn."

"Aren't they both?"

"I think it's time to intervene." I said.

"Come on then." She replied.

Together we went and got James, and walked him back up to the common room. All the time we were walking he didn't pay any attention to anyone or anything. I really hoped that he'd find Lily tonight, otherwise we'd have hell for weeks.

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><p><strong>AN - So I hope you enjoyed. Who knows when i'll update next, but hopefully it'll be soon.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Love KCornish13**


	17. Hoppipolla

A/N - well I'm back again. This is later than the last few, but it's been harder to write. So im not overly happy with this chapter, but having re-written it several times, i can't be bothered to fix it properly. Maybe when this story is done, which I have no idea as to when it will be, I'll make it better. But for now, this is all you get.

I own nothing.

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><p><strong>Lily's POV<strong>

I ran back up to the Common Room. I pulled off my mask as I went. I couldn't help smiling as I got to the fat lady. She was rather drunk and just let me in without a password. I walked straight over to the staircase and went upstairs.

When I got in I went upstairs and changed into my pyjamas. About fifteen minutes later James knocked on my door, he'd been upstairs for a while, and when he came in he was changed into a t-shirt and jeans.

"Hey Lilyflower. Did you have a good time?"

"Yes thanks it was fun."

"I can tell you have a huge smile on your face."

"I'm happy."

"I can see."

"Thanks."

"Who was you're partner, because I didn't see you, at all."

"Oh I left early. I felt ill." I said carefully avoiding his question. "Who were you with?" I asked to change the topic.

"I don't know, she wouldn't tell me her name, or take off her mask."

"Oh, what was she wearing because I might know who it was."

"A Green dress, and she had a white mask."

"Oh I saw her, she was beautiful!"

"I know, but she left before I could find out who she was. However she knew who I was, because when I took off my mask she said 'I knew it!'"

"Maybe she was embarrassed."

"Maybe." He looked thoughtful for a second. "Anyway, are you coming to the party downstairs?" He asked.

"I think i'm just going to read."

"Okay."

"See you tomorrow. Lily."

As he left, I wondered if we had both given up ignoring each other, and had somehow, in the course of one afternoon, and evening (even if he didn't know that) had become friends.

When I was sure he was gone. I got out of bed. Grabbed a black dress, and put it on. And then put my mask back on. I was ready to go, when Alice came bursting into my room.

"Well that went very well, Lily, although you were meant to tell him who you were. Out of interest, how long did you know it was him for?"

"A few minutes before midnight, and by then I'd already said far too much, so I ran."

"Hmmm. So you're going down now?"

"Of course."

"Are you still going to wear the mask?"

"I told James I was going to bed, when he came in earlier, so I have to."

"Most people are still wearing their masks."

"Good."

"Are you coming?"

"Of course. I'll be there soon. I've got to get changed though."

"Of course, we can't ruin your dress." I said smiling.

"I'll see you soon Lily." Alice said and then she ran out of the room with the same energy that she had come in with.

I followed her, after a minute, but instead of going to the seventh year dorms, I went straight down stairs, into the darkness of the continued masquerade.

* * *

><p><strong>James's POV<strong>

Not dwelling on the fact that Lily was upstairs in bed, I helped Sirius smuggle food, butterbeer, and firewhisky (for when the younger students had gone to bed) into the common room. Within fifteen minutes of people coming back from the ball, the party had started. There was very little light, just different colour balls of light that Remus had illuminated the air with. They cast beams of light around the room, and then the beams moved away again to another place. Everything else was lost in darkness.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Hours later.<strong>_

I felt so lost and confused, people where everywhere, half concealed by masks, and half concealed by the darkness, and every so often a flash of a white mask. It was like she was taunting me. I couldn't find Sirius, or Remus, and I knew Peter had gone to bed.

There! Again, the white mask. I ran towards it, only to have it disappear again. Someone tapped my shoulder, and there she stood. Less than a second later her mouth was on mine, kissing me. I wound my arms around her waist.

"Caught you." I whispered, victory obvious in my voice. She knew I had been chasing her all night.

"Have you though?" She asked smiling against my lips.

"I'm pretty sure that I have." I said holding onto her. I moved one hand up her back trailing my fingers along her spine, when my hand was in her hair, and began to pull on the ties of the mask.

She realised the second that my fingers pulled on the ties, and she pushed her lips back onto mine. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you looked at it, she was very good at what she was doing to me, so my objective in finding out who she was, was lost as she kissed me.

She ended the kiss, just as she had began it. She was looking at me with an expression of amazement. She looked as breathless as I did. After a few seconds I realised that my hand was knotted in her hair. I slowly removed my hand, placing it on her shoulder instead. She turned her face away. For a moment, I thought she was going to run again, but then I realised that she was looking at the door. I ran my hand down from her shoulder, until i held her own hand in mine. She followed the gesture. I began to walk towards the Portrait Hole.

We walked silently down the corridor, both of us seeming to have the same destination in mind. When we reached it, we both simultaneously walked past the wall three times. The door appeared on the third. I opened it, and as she followed me I pulled her lips to mine.

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><p><strong>AN - So i've just realised how short this actually is. Sorry, but as I said, it's been really hard to write this. The next chapter should be longer (Hopefully)**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Love KCornish13**


	18. At wit's end

**A/N - Hey. I'm back again. So ... I'm sorry that I haven't updated for a while, my life has gotten a little bit hectic, and I've got my mocks this week. Fun times for me. I will try to update though. **

**Thanks to all those lovely people who have reviewed, it really means a lot to me. **

**A/N - I own nothing.**

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><p>I woke up rather suddenly, and then became aware that I wasn't in my room. The next thing I was aware of was that I wasn't alone in my bed. I didn't want to believe my memory, but when I looked, I knew that it was right, and that James Potter lay next to me, with his arm over my waist.<p>

Damn it. Why is it that whenever I fall asleep with James Potter, I wake to only to find myself stuck in the embarrassing position of being there. Serves me right really, next time I ... Next time! There wasn't meant to be a first time, let alone a next time. Twice this had happened, although I highly doubted that this had been as innocent as the first time in fifth year, judging from our attire, or lack of.

I blamed Sirius and Alice for this.

_When I had gone downstairs, I had found myself cornered by Sirius._

_"You know Lilyflower, a New Year is almost upon us, I take it you remember our little agreement?"_

_"I do remember."_

_"Good, because Prongsy over there is looking for you."_

_"That's nice."_

_"Out of interest, where does he think you are?"_

_"In bed, reading."_

_"I see. Anyway, something had better happen tonight, for our sakes."_

_"Why your sakes?"_

_"Because he will not shut up for weeks possibly months about this if something doesn't. So off you go Lilyflower."_

And Alice had been even worse.

_"Does he know yet?" She asked._

_"No."_

_"My god Lily. You are missing out on so much fun."_

_"How? I'm here aren't I?"_

_"Yes, but if you really want to have fun, you should go in for the kill."_

_"And how on earth do I do that?"_

_"Simple, make sure he see's glimpses of you, and then when he's absolutely confused go for it."_

_"But it's James Potter!"_

_"And he loves you, and you love him yada yada ... whatever Lily."_

_"I do not love him! I don't even fancy him."_

_"And you've kissed him how many times and enjoyed it?"_

_I was silent._

_"Off you go." She said in an annoyingly pleasant voice._

The strange thing was, that she was right. It was fun to watch him get so confused. I decided enough was enough. Sirius hadn't said to show myself to him, so therefore I could still do things like this, and not reveal myself. It all had to end though, so I crept up behind him, and kissed him. What happened afterwards was unplanned for.

Although I blamed most of it on Sirius and Alice, part of it was my own curiosity.

It was fun, and then I kissed him. Then I didn't want to stop kissing him, in fact I wanted more. Somehow James Potter was what I wanted, and even more surprisingly, he wanted me.

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><p>A green sparkle caught my eye. I looked and partway down the bed, was my mask. Using my leg I managed to get it in arms reach. I put it on, and then attempted to free myself from the arm that was holding me in place.<p>

Unfortunately, this woke him up.

Grabbing the sheets I moved towards the end of the bed.

"And where are you going?" He asked with an attempt at an angry voice, but tiredness seeped though.

My back was towards him, but I could hear him moving up the bed. His hands held my shoulders, and they pulled me backwards until my head was on his lap. James was too tired to do anything special, or extravagant, and he simply pulled the mask off. I closed my eyes.

The next thing that made a sound was the mask dropping onto the bed.

"Lily?"

I opened my eyes, and sat back up.

James didn't appear to be able to speak, so I began to take my hair out, half of it had fallen out anyway, and soon it was covering my back in red curls.

"Are you angry?" James asked in a small voice.

"No." I said resignedly "Because it's my fault. You didn't know it was me."

"But you knew. Why did you if you knew?"

"I don't know. I guess one thing just led to another."

"Oh." He thought for a moment. "So what now?"

"We forget, and don't ever tell anyone?" I suggested.

"I can do the not telling thing, but I'm not sure that I can forget."

"Then, just don't say anything."

"Can I ask why?"

I looked at him. His hair was even messier than usual, and his glasses were sat askew on his face. He was leant back against the pillow staring out at the plain walls of the white room.

"Because two days ago, we weren't talking, and I have no idea about how I feel about this relationship that we have."

"Okay." He said in an almost monotone voice.

I turned to him again, and moved up the bed towards him. I knelt next to him and put my hand on his cheek.

"I'm sorry. Believe when I say that it's not you James, I'm just confused at the moment."

When he didn't respond, I moved away from him and off the bed. Finding my wand on the floor, I transfigured the sheet that I was using to cover myself, into clothes.

"Nice transfiguration work there Evans." He said. I noted the use of my last name again, in a strange way it hurt.

"Thanks." I replied.

Before anything else was said I walked out the door. Feeling strangely empty as I did.

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><p><strong> Sirius's POV<strong>

As I walked up after breakfast, I saw a flash of red in one of the alcoves. Lily.

She was sat staring out of the window watching the sun come up. As I got closer to her I noticed that her eyes were unfocused.

"You okay Lily?" I said coming and sitting next to her.

"I'm fine." She said, avoiding looking me in the eye.

Although I knew she wasn't, I chose to let it pass, she obviously didn't want to talk about it. "So ... Last night, did anything happen with James?"

"Ask him." She mumbled.

"Why? You're right here."

"And I don't want to talk about it, so go and ask James."

"Lily are you alright?"

"I want to be alone at the moment Black. Go away."

I stood up. "You know where to find me if you want to talk."

She ignored me, and turned back to the window. I had to find Prongs, something must have happened if Lily wasn't talking. With one last glance towards her, I went into Gryffindor Tower.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading you absolutely lovely people. <strong>

**Love KCornish13**


	19. Never an Absolution

**A/N - Well hello there again. I'm back. I have to apologise for several things ... firstly the speed of which I have been updating, this has been written for a godd few days. Also the length of this chapter as it's incredibly short. The next few will be longer and far more interesting i can assure you. But this is plot relevent so it has to be in here. Please do try to read through it. **

**Thanks again to those lovely people who've liked and reviewed this story, its very much apriciated.**

**I own nothing.**

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><p>The nice thing about today was that nearly everyone was leaving to go home for the rest of the holidays. Most people had stayed for the ball, and were leaving today. It was rather pleasant walking around an almost empty castle. There were far less many people to see you, as you run around the entire school like an idiot looking for your best friend. As I was returning to Gryffindor Tower, I found him casually strolling along the corridor towards the fat lady.<p>

"Oi!" I shouted. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Oh nowhere special." He said casually. A little too casually. Then a though struck me. What if Lily was still behind the curtain. I turned around, pretending that I was annoyed with him, and as I turned the flash of red was still there. Still acting I waited a minute, and then turned back to him, being sure to hide Lily behind the curtain and myself.

"I have run all over this school like an idiot looking for you! You owe me big!" I said to him.

He held his hands up in defence, but was smiling still. "Fine, fine! I'll ... throw a New Years party!"

"So it can't get shut down because the Head Boy has allowed it?"

"We'll it can, but if you want to take on McGonagall, that's your choice. I don't think she'll mind too much though. It's mostly sixth and seventh years here anyway."

"Ahh, well let's hope that she won't mind. Now then Prongsy, you have much to tell me."

"Why? Have you seen Lily!" He face was suddenly filled with worry.

Just as I was about to say yes, I felt a wand poking me in the back. "No. Can't say that I have. Why?"

"Nothing." He said immediately.

"It's not nothing Prongs. Do tell."

"Not here! Not in a corridor where anyone can hear us!" He exclaimed a little loudly. I resisted the temptation to laugh, he had no idea how right he was.

"To your room then." I said.

As James walked towards the portrait of the fat lady, I turned so that I could see Lily. She had her wand pointed at me. I winked at her, and gave her a smirk. She raised her eyebrows but said nothing.

"Are you coming Padfoot?" James called. "What are you doing?" He said turning back.

"Nothing, I thought something touched me, but it was just the curtain."

"Oh."

"Come on then!" I said hitting him lightly on the head, and pulling him back towards the portrait, leaving Lily behind.

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><p><strong>AN - Again sorry for the length and boringness of this. Thanks for reading. **

**Love KCornish13**


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